In my last blog I wrote about the first of three requests that I took to Amma last month. Today I will write about the other two requests.

My second request was for increased Radiance, which I know was happening, since quite a few people told me that I was shining and glowing. My third prayer was for Dharmic (Right) Livelihood. A series of things let me know that Amma heard – and was responding to – this request. I’ll outline them here.

The second day I was at Amma’s California ashram, I ran into an Indian man who I’ve met there on past pilgrimages. He told me that he had read my pocket book, Radiance Rising: Spiritual Practices for Daily Living, and he was very impressed with how I had written it in such a way that Westerners would be able to easily understand the practices. He strongly encouraged me to promote that book.

The next day, while sipping hot tea in the snack shop, I met two beautiful soul sisters who immediately ‘saw’ that I should be promoting my books. One woman suddenly took on the role of coach and said firmly, “You have to stop being small. Get out of the way – the books are not about you. You don’t have a choice – it is your job to put the books out there, because people need them. Stop being small: think Big. You need a fiery publicist who really gets what your books are about and who has the know-how to get them out there!”

Later that afternoon, I went up to Amma for my first darshan (hug/blessing) of the week. I took a bag with 22 copies of Radiance Rising for Amma to bless so that I could then donate them to the ashram store. Amma put an apple in my hand, held me close in embrace saying “My daughter, my daughter, my daughter… MaMaMaMaMaMaMa,” and then she threw some beautiful flower petals on the books. I knelt on the carpet in pranam (prostration with my forehead on the floor), and began sobbing. I cried for several minutes, feeling a burning sensation throughout my body. Then, as I sat in meditation close to Amma, I reflected that during that crying sob, there were no thoughts at all. I wasn’t crying for any particular reason – it was just a healing release of some kind.

Next I took the flower-adorned bag of books over to Swamini, the woman sannyasini from Australia who has been Amma’s close attendant for nearly three decades. She looked at the books enthusiastically and when I told her that I loved her books, she said, “Well, I am loving your book!”

The next day I tried to get in the question line, but I wasn’t able to, since there were so many people with much more dire life situations than mine… So, I wrote my question down on a card and when I went up for darshan, I handed the card to Amma. This is what I had written on that card:

Dear Amma, I bow at Your Holy Feet. All of my work is Yours. I’ve self-published 3 books; publish regular articles on my website blog; lead a weekly spiritual practices circle; give Reiki healings; and mother 2 boys (divorced). I have 2 month’s living expenses left. Please give me guidance on what my next steps should be. What should I do next to align with dharmic livelihood? How can I connect with a publicist and secure financial support for my work (as a cheerleader for spiritual practices)?   Om Namah Shivaya, Tejaswini

P.S. I donate 10% of website sales (and donations) to Your charities, and I intend to increase that as I make more money.

When Amma took that card into her hand, instead of quickly embracing me and kissing it while she hugged me, she very purposefully kissed the card, as if she intended for me to see her kiss it, and then she embraced me. When I sat down to meditate near her after that darshan, I felt her Presence strongly in my field, and I understood that Amma is Right Behind me always. Then I ‘heard’ something that comes from a teaching Amma often gives: ‘I am not a little lamb – I am a lion cub!’ Then I thought, ‘Yes, I am a lion cub, and I am strong, and I am doing correct work. I should just keep doing the work I am doing with full faith that I am supported. Work hard, and at the same time play and have fun – don’t get too rigid in your mission to spread the Light!’

That afternoon I noticed that there were only 7 copies of Radiance Rising left on the shelf in the store, so the next day I took 22 more copies up to Amma for blessing. She looked right in my eyes, and then again threw flower petals on the books, which I then I donated to the store.

With so much Gratitude in my heart, I continue the work assigned to me.

May all beings everywhere have food, clothing, shelter, peaceful sleep, and spiritual upliftment.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Book cover designed by Gaelyn Miriam Larrick.