In my last blog article I wrote about the three New Year’s intentions that I ‘heard’ whilst stargazing the night before New Year’s Eve: Shiva ~ Power ~ Magic. I understood that for me to effectively move forward with my “cheerleader” goals, I would need to somehow pull my focus off of the unrequited love lila and place it strongly on God. Just thinking the phrases “Yes! Yogini!” and “Open yourself to new magic” filled me with ecstatic tingling sensations, letting me know that the time is ripe for me to go through the portal of yet another transformation.

So then, on a chilly New Year’s Eve afternoon, I went to relax at a nearby spa, called Chozu. The heat in the steam room and warm pool calmed my system, and I naturally turned my attention to Shiva, who is the Pure Consciousness and Bliss (within and without). Then, as soon as I entered the sauna, with its ethereal vibration and earthy scent, I felt myself going into a very deep state. I sat in meditation pose on the warm wood, and began silently chanting Om Namah Shivaya over and over. Ever a practitioner of Cultivating the Witness, I watched myself going deeper and deeper into a state of Union, and I ‘heard’ a voice saying, “Now you are truly Married to Lord Shiva.”

In that state of Bliss, the karmic lilas with the earthguys seemed so insignificant, and I really understood how it is ALL the Divine Mother’s Play. I could see that I’ve been taking it all way too seriously. I ‘got’ the Cosmic Joke, and I felt free to just watch the continued unraveling of any karmic residues in the unrequited love lila.

With a bright red face and a wide-open heart, I returned home to prepare for the evening kirtan with Prema Mayi. As I put on a fun New Year’s Eve dress, I felt open to new magic coming into my life this year. Then, sitting in the yoga studio, surrounded by beautiful beings devoted to the Light, I felt very much in my power as a yogini committed to radiating Love to all beings. In animal medicine, horse represents power. I felt as though I was sitting on a magnificent horse…

… But then, with a big, painful “Thud!” I fell off that horse and spiraled down out of my power. Very big expansions are often followed by very big contractions, so it shouldn’t have surprised me, but since I am quite human, it surprised me anyway… Basically, as soon as I saw the earthguy, I fell into a state of longing and sorrow, in which I quickly forgot that it’s ALL the Mother’s Play!

In my pocket book, Radiance Rising: Spiritual Practices for Daily Living, I describe the inevitable spiritual process of expansions and contractions. Also, in my memoir, The Rita Lila: A Western Yogini’s Journey to Bliss, my teacher Basil gives the following advice:

“Take your openings extremely seriously! You are There, when deep states happen.  But when you are in reactions, don’t take them too seriously – just let them go through and release them.”

For most of us, there is a tendency to think that the expansion wasn’t real, since here I am back in this familiar, contracted “reality”, but the opposite is True! The expanded state is REAL, and the contracted state is temporary, passing, and unreal. With that understanding, I’m back on my horse, ready to go for a long trot through the Ashland mist today! Jai Shiva Shankara… Victory to Lord Shiva… my beloved husband.

May you thoroughly enjoy every expanded state that you are blessed with in 2011…

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Caballo photo by Oneras (Mario Antonio Pena Zapatería) – CC license