Today I woke up feeling exhausted like I had pulled a team of heavy horses through the sky on my back last night. Though I am usually a tea drinker, this morning I brewed a strong cup of coffee and sat down to read The Ramayana: A Modern Retelling of the Great Indian Epic, by Ramesh Menon. I am only 205 pages into this 686 page volume, and already I can honestly say that it is the best book I have ever read. After reading a section, I sat down to chant the 1,000 Names of the Divine Mother, a 45-minute chanting practice that I learned from Ammachi, that I do every Friday. Today this practice filled me with incredible Love and Bliss Shakti, and it renewed my inspiration for my creative work in the world.

So it is in this state of feeling really full of my true Self, in that deep place of the Heart, that I begin writing this blog entry, which is a continuation of the last blog post about the inside story on the Buzz for Bliss Campaign. (www.buzz-for-bliss.com) One week ago today my friend Pete and I conceived of the idea, and already more than 5,000 people have viewed my buzz cut video! (www.youtube.com/user/16Tejaswini)

The word is spreading fast and soon thousands of people will be getting their buzz cuts for bliss…

… But that is the story for a future blog. Today I will continue sharing my personal process since getting the buzz cut for bliss. I buzzed my hair to remind me to let go of attachments. Primarily, I was concerned about my attachment to Pete, my dear yogi friend who was visiting me for almost 3 weeks. After a really fun visit, the time came to take him to the airport, so he could fly to England to visit his family. Not knowing if or when we would see each other again, I cried as his plane flew away… But when I got home, I was fine for the rest of the day.

That evening, at the Radiance Rising Circle, I called in Gratitude to help me stay focused on the positive – gratitude for a great visit with Pete – rather than the negative – “poor me, he left.” The circle was particularly sweet that evening, with eleven of us sharing in a good discussion about how we navigate painful emotional states. One guy shared that he hadn’t thought about the spiritual process of expanding and contracting as a concept until he read about it in my new book, Radiance Rising: Spiritual Practices for Daily Living. (This pocket book is available on this website store in print and by e-book.) I then talked about the importance of cultivating the witness to help us remain detached throughout the ups and downs of our days and nights…

That night I went to sleep feeling inspired and fulfilled, so I wasn’t expecting to feel how I felt the next morning: I awoke feeling as though my body had been cut down the middle and someone had taken one half and put it on a plane headed for another part of the world… I sat in disbelief at how strange the remaining half of me felt… As I went through my morning routine, I felt numb and dazed, as though half of me was touring some distant galaxy, while the other half struggled to understand what was happening here and now.

At the time, I could not have explained it this well, but the Witness part of my mind was actively witnessing, and it was saying a few things to me, such as: “You are just adjusting to Pete leaving… that’s why you feel so strange. Just keep focusing your attention on God and on your work in the world.” I listened to that voice as I carried on with sitting still in meditation practice and chanting the Hanuman Chalisa and sipping hot tea while reading The Ramayana…

… But every time I tried to work on the computer (promoting the creative child we had birthed at the end of Pete’s visit: www.buzz-for-bliss.com), I felt worse and worse. Finally I realized that I needed to get away from the computer and the cottage (which were both reminding me of Pete’s visit)… I needed to bust out of my regular routine and do something else for a while…

… So I walked my buzzcut self (which still only felt half embodied), downtown, and took my half-self on a hike along the trail by the creek. The flowing, bubbling water combined with the heavy scent of the towering trees soothed my nerves, but still something felt wrong – very wrong.

So, I tuned in again to the Witness Consciousness, that part of my being that I have been actively cultivating for more than 6 ½ years… And, gratefully, the Witness gave me a fine little report:

“Your Consciousness is wide-open in Blissful Expansion, and your mind is doing really well. You are not creating suffering for yourself with negative thought patterns like you have repeatedly done in the past. What feels ‘wrong’ to you is not at the spirit or mental levels, but rather you are experiencing the pain of separation on a very physical, primal level. You are in the agony – physical agony – that a bird or other creature might experience when separated from their mate. This is an adjustment of screeching sorrow that you just have to go through – don’t try to run from it. Allow it, and give it plenty of space. Cry if tears come… Don’t judge yourself for feeling this way – this feeling is as natural as the birdsong of this planet. Allow yourself to feel, feel, and feel again. This too shall shift.”

Of course the tears flowed then, and they flowed on into the evening as I ate a nourishing vegan meal, repeated my mantra 108 times, sat in evening dhyana (meditation), and lay my head upon the pillow…

Earlier that day I had emailed Pete telling him about how strange I was feeling, and in his reply he had reminded me to be in Shiva Consciousness and to touch my head… That helped. Each time I touched my head and looked at my buzz cut in the mirror, I remembered my goal to release external attachments and to live in the internal Bliss of Union with Lord Shiva, the Hindu aspect of the Divine that represents Pure Consciousness.

The next day I awoke feeling somewhat better, but by afternoon the physical pain in my heart and gut propelled me to call my dear healer friend, Britt. She tuned in and agreed that I was doing well at the spirit and mental levels, but that I needed some help at the physical level. She said that I needed to clear Pete’s energy from my physical space. She instructed me to do the following exercise:

Sitting on my meditation cushion, I called in the spiritual help of Amma, Neem Karoli Baba, and the Reiki Guides. Then I visualized two bright red roses: one out in front of my heart chakra, and the other out in front of my solar plexus chakra – the two areas where I was experiencing seering energetic pain sensations. I put all of Pete’s energies that were in me out into those roses… then I took them outside and exploded them, letting them dissolve out into the sky and the clouds and beyond…

… Sitting again, I visualized two more bright red roses out in front of my heart and solar plexus chakras, and this time I called back all of my energies that were in Pete and put them in the roses as I pulled those roses into my heart and gut. Immediately I felt an energetic shift. What I had been experiencing as painful physical sensations (heart aching and gut feeling kicked) dissolved instantly, and the pain transmuted into feeling Blissful Union with Shiva. In that state of Remembrance, I placed a bright red dot bindi on my third eye, and doused my buzzed crown with Amma’s rose oil. I felt most grateful that my friend Britt had given me that simple yet potent exercise to do. It only took a few minutes, and it had a profound effect on my whole being.

Britt Magadini is available for psychic readings and energy healings. Her website will be live in a few days: www.wakingbeauties.com.

The following day I felt better, although I still had moments in which I experienced the pain of separation… But that is a natural part of the spiritual process of expanding and contracting. The more we engage in cultivating the witness, the easier this process becomes. I am so thrilled to see my progress and to experience the transformational power we can gain through the spiritual practice of cultivating the witness.

I know that my teacher Basil is proud of me as he shines Light upon me from some distant star. Oh, dear Basil, who I now call Yogi Shambho, I miss you as I type these words. Thank you for all that you taught me during those brief years we had together this lifetime.

May we all know the inner Bliss that comes from shedding our external attachments. Thank you, Pete, for showing up to help me learn more detachment. You’re a good yogi.

May all beings everywhere know the Bliss of Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

May Day photo of Pete & Teja by Howie Morningstar.

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My friend Pete is visiting for a few weeks, and last week I was feeling sad at the thought of our visit ending, so I asked him if he would give me a buzzcut, to help me release my attachments. At first he didn’t think it was a good idea, as he thought I should just be able to let go of my attachments by strengthening my mind. With a stronger mind, I would not let myself think the thoughts that cause me grief. While that sounds great in theory, I still felt like I needed some outside help. A buzzcut would be a great visual reminder that I am capable of letting go of the things that I am attached to… And I was definitely attached to my hair…

So I placed the hair cutting scissors on the bathroom counter, to let Pete know I was serious about my idea… but the next time I went to the bathroom, the scissors were gone! For a few days we played hide-and-seek with the scissors, with me finding them and setting them back on the counter, and him hiding them again.

While I was mostly laughing at our rascally antics, I also felt a bit frustrated by the situation… So, I took out my journal and wrote the following:

O Tejaswini, what can you say about your long hair? ~

~ It feels heavy, like it’s weighing down my head.

~ It makes me attractive to men.

~ It symbolizes femininity.

~ It is so cute and curly.

~ It takes too much time to manage now.

~ I’m attached to it because it is so cute.

~ It makes me feel protected. I can hide in it.

O Tejaswini, what does cutting your hair represent? ~

~ Burning karma: Letting go of the old and creating fresh new space for what wants to emerge next.

~ Re-committing to the goal: Shiva Union is Primary, and connections with earthly men come after Union with Lord Shiva, who is Pure Consciousness and Bliss

~ Releasing attachments: attachments to looks, to men, to projections of how I want things to unfold, to fantasies and to disappointments.

~ Shifting focus from spending time on external looks TO spending more time on internal practices and on serving others.

I then wrote a small poem:

letting the curly locks
fall away,
i rest within Shiva,
the very Bliss
at my core.

Tejaswini says this buzzcut
brings the bliss
of Remembrance.

After I read the above journal entry to Pete, he agreed to cut my hair. I thought that the next day we would buy a clipper set for the buzzcut, but that night we couldn’t sleep, and at 3:30am he cut my hair with those hide-and-seek scissors! We took a video of the process, and the video turned out to be quite hilarious, so I posted it on my YouTube channel under the comedy category! (http://www.youtube.com/user/16Tejaswini) Here is the video. Please share it far and wide!

While editing the Buzz for Bliss video, we got the idea to challenge others to also buzz their hair to release attachments and experience the bliss of inner peace. Also, Pete (a.k.a. Yogi Sinzapatos) will donate $1 for every haircut done in the name of Peace to Common Passion, a non-profit organization that is working to raise awareness of Unity Consciousness. http://www.commonpassion.org. If you decide to cut YOUR hair for the Bliss of Peace, after you cut your hair, you can post a photo of your buzzcut, along with a story about the haircut, at http://www.buzz-for-bliss.com.

We all have the ability to let go of our attachments. Sometimes giving something up – like our hair, for example – can help us to give other things up. The more we let go of our external attachments, the more we experience the bliss of internal peace… And the more we each experience inner peace, the more we radiate that out and help to create Peace in the whole world.

May we each release whatever attachments are blocking our peace and joy. Cheers to buzzcuts for bliss, and any other releases that radiate more Light!

May all beings everywhere know the Bliss of Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

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