Each week I pick an angel card, and occasionally I know instantly why I picked that particular card, but more often I discover the reason as the week goes along. That was certainly the case this past week when I turned over the Grace card. All week, I felt a sweetness when I looked at the card on my kitchen table, but it was not until last night that I understood its significance for me in this round of seven calendar boxes (a.k.a. “days”).

The week prior, whilst diving ever deeper into my spiritual practice of Cultivating the Witness, I had been noticing a familiar flavor of depression passing briefly through my system. I acknowledged it by saying to myself, ‘You were so excited about the New Year, fresh with possibilities, and now you’re feeling disappointed because your little mind is impatient and thinks nothing has happened.’ Of course then I coached myself into feeling better by recognizing all the blessings in my life and by cultivating gratitude for all the good that is most definitely happening.

So then this week, I witnessed myself indulging in some petty pleasure-pain pendulum sorrows, which culminated yesterday in a full-blown feeling sorry for myself state. Not knowing what else to do, I did what I often do in such a state: lit candles, burned incense around my temple cottage whilst chanting the Hanuman Chalisa (along with Krishna Das’ CD “Flow of Grace”), and began preparing a meal. Once I begin cooking in my kitchen, some kind of magic happens and regardless of my initial state, I am usually transformed by the process of conscious cooking whilst chanting the Names of God.

As I washed the vegetables, I suddenly became inspired to watch a film that had been on my to-watch list for a while, so once my food was ready, I selected the movie on Netflix and sat down to eat and watch… And that’s when the real Bliss hit! The meal tasted so amazing: tempeh sautéed in toasted sesame oil, soy sauce and spices; sunchokes and carrots roasted in olive oil and Himalayan krystal salt; and a very large handful of fresh cilantro. The film, Fierce Grace, about Ram Dass’ life since his stroke, was incredibly well done and oh, so inspiring. 

Currently I am reading Ram Dass’ book Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing, and Dying, and it was sweet to see how that book fit into the overall process of his experiences before and after the stroke. Reading that book and now seeing that film has me once again inspired to look into doing hospice caregiving work with the dying. And amazingly, since everything in our lives is connected and leading us forward on our paths, my 97-year-old Grandma, who is close to dying and who has hospice care in her midwest home, called me on Skype video about ten minutes after I began watching Fierce Grace! Talk about Amazing Grace… Wow.

So I may think that I’m just a simple little nobody yogini in a cold (and windy!) town, but even a simple little alone evening can turn into the most potent and powerful Grace. I can still see my Grandma’s face saying into the computer screen, “You look as cute as ever!”

Big Gratitude!

May all beings everywhere experience Amazing Gratitude and Delightful Grace.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photos of Teja’s simple vegan yogini evening taken by Teja Shankara.