Ahh, the last day of the year. As I wrote in a previous blog (“Spiritual Purification through Releasing Impurities”), I picked the angel card Release for the Year 2011, and it has been quite a challenging year filled with much emotional release! This final month I focused on consciously releasing as much as possible, so I can begin the New Year free from all blockages to living in dharmic right livelihood. So wouldn’t you know, for this last week of the year, I picked the angel card Freedom…

And this last week I have let go of so many more things, concepts, ideals, plans… I even let go of organizing the ShivaRatri event that was scheduled for February 19^th, 2012… I am sure my Beloved Husband Lord Shiva will understand, since He is the Bliss that arises from letting go of all attachments and expectations!

So I say Good Riddance 2011… and Welcome 2012! May all beings be Free and Blissed-out inside the One Radiance…

Happy New Year 2012 to all… Om Namah Shivaya! I bow to Lord Shiva, who is Pure Consciousness and Pure Bliss.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Shiva image adapted from a wallpaper on aboutshiva.com

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Last night, as I gazed out at the stars through my living room window, I spoke some intentions out loud to the Universe. My heart opened and I felt as though some higher part of my mind was directly communicating with the stars. I remembered my teacher, who is “Basil” in my books (and who left his physical body in July, 2009), saying how important it is for us modern folks to spend time looking at the stars.

Stargazing expands our consciousness. It tunes us in to other realms and it helps to put our life stories into a much bigger perspective.

For today’s New Year’s Eve blog, I had intended to share a certain quote with you, but I cannot remember where I saw the quote, and I’ve tried googling many phrases, to no avail. So I will just share the essence of what the quote means, and if you know this quote, please send me the reference. Essentially:

Everything is connected in one continuous web of energy and vibration, so that the farthest star is present in even the tiniest seed sprouting on our sacred Earth.

And one more quote, by an unknown author:

Good friends are like stars… You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there.

May contemplation on the stars open your mind and heart this day. May 2011 be filled with Bliss, Healing, and Light for all.

May all beings everywhere have food, clothing, shelter, peaceful sleep, and spiritual upliftment.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of stars by NASA.

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Last month I visited Amma at the M.A. Center in Castro Valley, California. On the last night of programs, I attended the Devi Bhava puja, which is a special ritual dedicated to World Peace. Devi means Goddess and Bhava means mood or state, so on Devi Bhava nights, Amma dresses in full Devi costume, and many devotees stay up all night watching her give darshan (hugs/blessings), listening to the soul-stirring bhajans (devotional songs), and communing with other beloved seekers.

I have attended many of these all-nighters, and over time I have fine-tuned my staying-awake-tricks, such as well-timed caffeine. A cup of coffee at midnight does wonders. While sitting in the snack shop sipping coffee, I reviewed the notes that I had taken during Amma’s talk earlier that evening. (After the special rituals, including the blessing of water that they distribute to all present, Amma then gives a talk.)

As I read and re-read my notes, I noticed that early in the talk Amma said that we are always alone, but then later in the talk, she said that we are never alone. At first it seems like a contradiction, but when you study her words more closely, you then understand how it’s yet another instance of how opposites can both be true. I’ll transcribe a few of the notes here for you to contemplate:

“Sorrow comes from a misconception that others will love us back if we love them. Worldly love is selfish – we are always alone. Understand this and accept everything with a smile.

“Often there is a delay between actions and their results, so it makes it hard for us to make the connections. Fate is mysterious. Karma is a subtle aspect of life, so it’s difficult to understand. Karma, like life, is cyclic. Good actions to others help remove some karmas, and some karmas lessen with sadhana (spiritual practices)…

“(But) some karmas just have to be lived through. Get strength to remain joyful through life’s problems. We are never alone – God is always with us. Knowing this, then we get self-confidence and inner strength.

“Life is a blessing – think of life as a journey back to our innate state of God-Consciousness: when ugliness is transforming into Beauty, pain is inevitable – if we have the strength to face pain, then we can be transformed… Let’s all Love & Serve each other, and let’s become One. Let’s become lamps to the world… May God’s Grace help us to reach this goal.” ~ Ammachi, Thanksgiving evening, November 2010

(It is a big task to be the scribe of such a great soul – I apologize if I’ve made any errors in relaying Amma’s words here.)

May all beings have food, clothing, shelter, peaceful sleep, and spiritual upliftment each day.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Teja having coffee after midnight (at Amma’s snack shop) taken by Punyavati.

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Before heading out of town on my Amma pilgrimage last month, I wrote the following on Facebook: “Going to Ammachi, asking for deeper Bhakti (Devotion); increased Radiance; and Dharmic (Right) Livelihood…” In today’s blog I will write about the first request, the prayer for Amma to deepen my devotion.

I do many spiritual practices each day (which you can read about in my pocket book, Radiance Rising: Spiritual Practices for Daily Living, that is on sale for $5 per copy through December 16^th), and I already experience a pretty deep level of Bhakti (Devotion) to God, so why did I go to Amma with that request? I asked Amma for deeper Bhakti because I have been crazily in love (for several years) with someone who I can’t be with, and I understand that when I keep my attention focused on God, I am able to cheerfully accept what IS (and what isn’t) with a smile. So I asked Amma, “Please make me AT LEAST as crazy for God as I am for that earthguy!”

My teacher, who is “Basil” in my books (and who left his physical body in July 2009), taught me the ancient Indian sutra, “The mind becomes that which it dwells upon.”

While sitting in Amma’s Presence, I focused my mind on God, and while watching Amma give hugs, I suddenly thought, ‘What if I had to choose between Amma and that earthguy?’ My immediate response was a resounding ‘AMMA! I would choose Amma!’ As I reflected on that no-brainer question, it occurred to me that my answer – which came so quickly without any thought or hesitation – meant that I am actually MORE crazy for God than for the earthguy! What a relief it was to realize that.

Thank you Amma, for showing me that my Bhakti is deepening daily. By your Grace, I am smiling and cheerfully accepting what Is (and what isn’t)…

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Teja in Bhakti (at Amma’s) by Vivek.

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Today is my Grandma’s 96^th birthday. I celebrate her birth and I joyfully acknowledge all the wonderful ways she has enriched my life with her humor, enthusiasm, brightness, and love. I attribute my positive attitude and cheerfulness to her example and guidance.

A few months ago, I had a dream that something intense would happen on October 10^th. The next day, as I reflected on the dream, I realized that the date to look for intensities would be 10-10-10… So when that date arrived, I watched for intensities, but nothing happened… or so I thought. Then, a few days later, I received an email from my parents saying that my Grandma had fallen down on 10-10-10. She didn’t break any bones, but she injured her hip and had to be in a wheelchair for a few weeks, which required family members to stay with her around the clock.

During that time, I began focusing on death at the Monday evening Radiance Rising Circles. I gave a writing assignment on the topic, and it was very touching to hear what people wrote about death.

Inspired by a dream I had, in which my Grandma was holding me, I wrote and shared the following poem with the circle:

held in warm embrace
by living grandmother.
resting in deep love
yet witnessing underlying fear –
what if she dies this night
and i awaken
in the cold arms of death?

as her soul reaches mine
through dream space,
i realize i am more
afraid of her death
than my own –
what would death be for me
when it’s All Shiva, here or there….

but when she leaves
i won’t hear her living voice anymore
and I will have to once again
endure the grief
of parting.

Tejaswini says have faith!
Kali will cut through
all these attachments
and Shiva will burn them
to ashes.

I often talk with my sons (ages 10 and 13) about the delicate balance between really, really, really loving people, places, and things, AND not being too attached to those people, places, and things. As I celebrate my Grandma’s birth and life, I also witness myself fearing her death. There is such a bittersweet beauty here on this earth.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Teja in park by Teja Shankara.

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Last weekend I attended a Blessing Way Circle for a friend who will be thirteen years old soon. The invitation had asked us to bring the gift of a single flower, along with words of wisdom and blessings for her future. That morning I walked downtown in the glorious autumn sunshine, stopped by the flower shop, and breathed in gratitude as I hiked along the flowing creek up to the gathering. On the trail, it was wonderful to watch people’s faces light up when they saw the big bright dahlia in my hand. Several people commented on how beautiful it was, and their joy increased my own.

I thought of the words that I had written down to give my friend, and I reflected on how beautiful it was that all of the women who were heading there were bringing words of wisdom from their own life constellations that were unique to them in that moment. I delighted in the passage of time and all of the changes it brings.

After gathering on blankets under some magnificent green trees, we sat in a sacred circle. Holding hands, we invited the spirits of our women ancestors to join us. A candle was lit, and the mother showered blessings on her daughter who will soon emerge from childhood to womanhood. Then we each offered our blessings along with our flowers. Here is what I said to her:

“I celebrate your birth and I offer this intention for your life: That you may be a master of the art of balance between REALLY loving people, places, and things, and not getting attached to those external people, places, and things…. So that you can stay centered in the Bliss of your own Being – so that you always know and love who YOU are! Blessings on being YOU!”

Several of the women echoed my own feelings when they noted how most of us women did not have blessingway ceremonies when we were young, and so attending these circles for the younger generation is a gift for us because it honors that place in ourselves. We all felt so honored and so grateful to be there in that circle.

Towards the end of the circle, one woman shared that any woman (and I would add that the same goes for any man) can call a circle for herself any time she needs to. I love that. I’m visualizing a world in which sacred circles are called regularly in abundance!

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of dahlia in hand by Teja Shankara.

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Balance. That is the angel card I picked for this week, as I am juggling many balls: my parents visiting for my cousin’s wedding; taking care of boys and household chores; cooking vegan meals, giving Reiki sessions, writing blog articles, doing spiritual practices… and so on! I am continually amazed at how I pick the perfect card each week. (Angel cards, by Kathy Tyler and Joy Drake, Narada Productions, Inc., Milwaukee, WI, 1981.)

Tuning into the perfection of the Universe is a good practice when one is trying to balance so many things. However, even though in the big picture I ‘get’ that everything is happening perfectly, there are so many things occurring on Earth that don’t seem so perfect. For example, a few days ago, while I was buying pink nailpolish to wear on my toenails to the wedding, a fire was raging near the store and several Ashland homes caught on fire that night. And in the news they were saying that the flood situation in Pakistan is worse than the Haiti earthquake. And somehow I’m supposed to just keep enjoying my life, when so many people are suffering? How to balance the feelings of despair and compassion with the need to just keep doing our own lives, where-ever we are? I understand that giving in to despair won’t help anyone, and that by continuing to evolve myself through spiritual practices, I can help others by radiating Love out in all directions… but it’s still sometimes difficult to embrace this beautiful life I’m in, while others are suffering.

Somehow I continue to – more or less – keep it all in balance. Sometimes I do forget things though… Like last week, when my dear friend Thomas and I took another evening picnic up to Mt. Ashland, I forgot the plates and forks! We laughed heartily as we ate the delicious vegan meal on the lids, using the big serving spoons as utensils. But again, in the big scheme of things, when almost one billion people are starving on the planet, it doesn’t really matter that I forgot the plates and forks. With humility, I offer incredible gratitude for all of the blessings and abundance in my simple, yet joyous, yogini life.

May all beings everywhere have food to eat each day. May all beings know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Teja by Thomas Stekkinger. Photo of vegan sunset picnic on Mt. Ashland by Teja Shankara.

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Are you a millionaire or (gulp) a billionaire? If so, did you hear the recent news that Bill Gates convinced 38 billionaires to donate half of their wealth to charities? I was very inspired when I heard that, as I have been envisioning ideas like that for some time.

One similar idea of mine is for the people who have really great ideas but no money to be matched with people who have a lot of money but no good ideas. For example, I have a friend who could design an amazingly artistic spa and healing resort, but she doesn’t have the capital to do so. (She not only doesn’t have the money to build such a high vibration resort, but she is in credit card debt, as are many people I know.)

Then take me, for another example. I am doing really great work in many directions, for no pay. Why am I doing that? Because I am following my passions and trusting that the Universe will provide. So far, this has been true, and I trust that it will continue to be true. In June, when I was down to my last month’s living expenses, I surrendered to God and said, “Whatever work you want me to do, I will do. I work for you. You, God, are my boss.” Shortly after that, a very generous person offered to fund my next six months living expenses. Imagine how that boosted my trust in the Universe!

So, I continue to write inspiring, high quality blog articles, lead weekly Radiance Rising Circles, mother my two beautiful boys, cook high vibration vegan meals, give Reiki healings, and do many spiritual practices each day. In addition to all of that, I am looking ahead to how I am going to apply the skills I learned in the training I attended in June through Insight Prison Project.

At that amazing training, Rochelle Edwards (and a team of highly skilled facilitators) taught a curriculum that they use with the prisoners at San Quentin Prison. We spent a whole day inside that prison, and it was so inspiring to witness the effects that the curriculum has had on the men in blue. Soon IPP is going to send me an adapted curriculum that I could use to facilitate healing circles at local youth centers, rehabilitation centers, veterans centers, and possibly the local jail.

I know that I am on the right path, following my central passion: to be of service to many beings. I intend to radiate Light out, in whatever ways the Source of Love asks me to… And I trust that the Universe will support me financially. I know that this is especially true because the Universe knows that I live simply, and that I am wise and generous with money.

Who knows, maybe a millionaire or billionaire will read this blog post, and feel inspired to go to my website store and hit the “Donate” button… anything is possible in this magical Universe! (Note: 10% of every sale and donation on this website is given to Ammachi’s charitable organizations.)

May all beings everywhere have their basic needs covered. May all people have food, clothing, shelter, and Self-Love.

May all beings know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Teja Bright by Teja Shankara’s ten-year-old son.

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On June 26^th, I posted a blog article (“Release!”) about my process of releasing all expectations and griefs that I have placed on any forms of the masculine. Very soon after writing that article, I became aware that I needed to not only release expectations and griefs that I had placed on external forms of the masculine, but I also needed to release all the expectations that I had put on my internal masculine. I reflected on how much I expected of my own masculine, and I saw that while my masculine side completely bowed to my feminine side, it was not a reciprocal bowing! My feminine side was completely frustrated with my masculine side and refused to bow to it.

In one of her teachings, Amma says the following about the unity of the masculine and feminine:

“By the merging of man and woman, Mother doesn’t mean on the physical level….Women and men contain both elements…. The woman is unaware of the masculinity within her and searches for it on the outside, in a man. Likewise, the man doesn’t try to nourish the qualities of forgiveness, compassion, and affection that lie hidden within him. He imagines they are to be found only in a woman. Both men and women should awaken the complementary powers and capacities within themselves. Completeness is the union of the masculine and feminine elements within ourselves…. Only through this inner union can we experience limitless bliss. The aim of brahmacharya is to realize that both the male and female aspects are contained within us, and that the nature of our true Self transcends any such duality.”

(Lead Us to the Light: A Collection of the Teachings of Mata Amritanandamayi, Compiled by Swami Jnanamritananda, M.A. Center, San Ramon, CA, 2002.)

After realizing that I was seeking union with the masculine outside of myself largely because I was unhappy with the masculine element within myself, I set the intention to seek harmony and balance with my inner masculine and feminine elements. Taking the brahmacharya celibacy vow for at least six months, I endeavor to focus within and find the true Bliss that comes from uniting Shiva and Shakti internally. Lalla, naked mystic of medieval Kashmir, sang of that internal Union:

I, Lalla, entered the jasmine garden,
where Shiva and Shakti were making love.

I dissolved into them,
and what is this
to me, now?

I seem to be here,
but really I’m walking
in the jasmine garden.

(Lalla: Naked Song, translations by Coleman Barks, Maypop Publishing.)

May all beings know the Bliss of Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

The Lovers image by Mara~ earth light, CC license

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In this material realm, change is the only constant. When we remember this eternal truth, we experience detachment and peace. When the spiritual principle of impermanence is so obviously true, why is it so hard for us to remember it? Somehow the physical realm deludes us into believing that it is permanent, even though over and over we experience the truth of impermanence.

We need to accept that the nature of the world is change, but it is challenging to find acceptance when we can’t even remember the principle! So what can we do to help ourselves remember? First, it is important to understand the reason why we suffer when we forget the truth of impermanence. We suffer because of the attachments and expectations that we create in our minds when we forget that things will inevitably keep changing.

Once we understand why we suffer from our forgetfulness, next we need to take actions to continually help ourselves remember. Daily spiritual practices give us regular opportunities for remembrance. One of my favorite spiritual practices is chanting. For over six years I have been singing along with the CDs of popular chant artists such as Krishna Das and Jai Uttal. In my new book, Radiance Rising: Spiritual Practices for Daily Living (available on this website store in print or by e-book), I describe the transformative practice of chanting.

Daily chanting helps me to remember that change is the nature of the world. When I am feeling particularly attached to something, I chant to Shiva, the Hindu aspect of destruction. Inherent in the dissolution principle of Shiva is also the creation principle, because when one thing dissolves, it creates the space for something new to emerge. So when we consciously release our attachments, that opens up the space for detachment to grow within us.

There is an image of Lord Shiva dancing in ecstasy over the cremation grounds. He is ecstatic because when the bodies are burned, the attachments that go along with the bodies also burn, thereby freeing the souls to be in Bliss. In her book The Eternal Truth, Ammachi describes this image of Shiva dancing in bliss, and then she says, “The meaning of this is not that bliss comes to us only after death. Everything is within us. We and the universe are one. Both are equally complete. When the attachment to the body dies in the fire of Self-awareness, we are automatically filled with bliss… Shiva is called ‘the detached one’ (vairagi). Detachment (vairagya) means absence of attachment.” (The Eternal Truth, by Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi, Mata Amritanandamayi Mission Trust, Amritapuri, India, 2006 & 2007.)

So the ability to let go of attachments exists within each of us. It is important that we each take the time to cultivate this ability… in whatever ways help us to achieve more detachment. In addition to chanting along with CDs, I also attend evenings of live kirtan (call and response chanting) whenever possible.

Inspired by my love of kirtan, last June I bought myself a harmonium and asked Amma to bless me to be able to sing and play harmonium. Slowly I am learning this new art form, after a lifetime of believing that I could not sing! At the weekly Radiance Rising Circles, I am even starting to lead simple chants. Last weekend a friend and I recorded a Shiva chant and posted it on my YouTube Channel, www.youtube.com/16Tejaswini. That video is also posted at the top of this blog post.

May we all remember that change is the nature of the world. May we all find ways to release our attachments. May we all experience the bliss of detachment.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

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