As the first signs of spring appear, like the precious little violets reaching up through the grass in my yard, there is still a winter chill in the air. This morning we have sunshine in Ashland, and I am thinking of all the sunny, cheerful things that warm my heart. Like hearing my Grandma’s voice. Every time I call her, across several thousand miles, I get to hear her say, “Thank you for calling. This was a bright spot in my day.”

What are the bright spots in your days? What cheers you? What enlivens you and warms your heart? In wintertime, we all reach for warmth, but in truth, we need warmth in every season.

Once my dear teacher Basil (who passed away in July, 2009), was talking about fear vibrations, and he advised us to ask those fear vibrations what they need. He said that the answer is nearly always warmth. Coming together as a community brings us warmth and calms our limbic systems. Connecting with others breaks the illusion of separation. Doing spiritual practices with others breaks the anxiety-producing sense of being isolated.

In my memoir, The Rita Lila: A Western Yogini’s Journey to Bliss, I share this quote by Basil: “In this time of dissolving form, in this declining empire, ask yourself, ‘What am I called to do?’ and listen to your inner guidance. There is a lot of anxiety out there in the Collective, but if you take in nourishment (friends, food, practices, prayers), and listen for guidance, then you will be able to navigate through – no matter what happens. All of the information in this age produces anxiety that is both contagious and crippling… As yogis and yoginis, it is our responsibility to continually calm ourselves so that we not only lessen our personal anxieties, but we also lessen the amount of anxiety that we contribute to the Collective Anxiety.”

This article is a continuation of my last two blog posts, “The Mind Becomes That Which It Dwells Upon.” and “Bliss and Grief: My Two Lives.” In those entries, I wrote about how happiness is a choice. No matter what is happening, we have to continually choose to put our attention on things that expand us.

When we feel contracted, one way to practice putting our attention on things that expand us is through the simple, yet powerful, Freeze Frame technique developed by the HeartMath Institute. The following is copied from their website:

This 1-minute, 5-step technique, intended to be used when one is feeling stressed or out of balance, involves the following abbreviated steps:

1. Recognize the stressful feeling, and Freeze-Frame it (take a time out).

2. Make a sincere effort to shift your focus away from the racing mind or disturbed emotions to the area around your heart.

3. Recall a positive, fun feeling or time and attempt to re-experience it.

4. Using your intuition, common sense, and sincerity, ask your heart what a more efficient response to the situation would be, one that would minimize future stress.

5. Listen to what your heart says in answer to your question.

For more information on this technique, click here on Freeze Frame.

My favorite part of that exercise is number 3: recalling a positive and fun feeling or time and attempting to re-experience it. If we catch ourselves going into stress mode quickly enough, then shifting our attention toward experiencing a positive feeling in the heart can actually stop the activation of the survival brain state. Take a moment to recall a few times when you felt happy. Attempt to re-experience a time when you had a lot of fun. Then, the next time you feel a stressful reaction coming on, try this Freeze Frame technique and see what happens.

I experience loving feelings in my heart when I recall myself hugging my Guru Amma or sitting in my Grandma’s kitchen. When I think of all the things that bring me warmth, my Grandma’s kitchen is at the top of the list. It is small and cozy, with bright yellow walls and shelves holding spider plants, teapot collections, and glowing candles. Sitting at her kitchen table, listening to her tell stories, I am filled with the cheery warmth that she emanates.

Imagining myself there with my Grandma helps me to think cheerful thoughts like she does. Without knowing anything about ancient Indian sutras, she clearly understands that the mind becomes that which it dwells upon, as she consciously puts her attention upon things that expand her mind and heart. Full of spunk and enthusiasm, as she tells the funny stories from her life, her kitchen fills with the energy of her positive love.

As I’m writing this, another kitchen comes to mind. It was the summer of 2006, and I was staying in the home of my teacher Basil and his beloved partner Luna, on the island of Hawai’i. Ten of us had gathered there for a weeklong spiritual retreat. One afternoon a young man in the group offered to make me a piece of toast. Such a simple offering, there in that simple kitchen, but the magnitude of how it affected my heart sent me into a few hours of deep crying. Back on the mainland, I was a single mama who did all the cooking, and no one ever offered to make me a piece of toast. My heart was so full of gratitude that I just couldn’t stop crying!

Later, after the sobbing subsided, Basil dubbed the incident my “Maha kitchen kriya.” In Sanskrit, “Maha” means Great and “kriya” means movement that purifies. We both laughed, and he gave me the following prediction (which has thus far been true): “On your path of opening your heart, you are going to have many more meltdowns. Just relax and let them go through you.”

Regular, daily spiritual practices help me to relax and let the meltdowns go through me. The most important practice, which I describe in my new book, Radiance Rising: Spiritual Practices for Daily Living, is Cultivating the Witness. The more I practice witnessing all of myself – all of the contractions and all of the expansions – the more I am able to accept all of myself. This self-acceptance leads to incredible self-love. When we truly love ourselves, no matter what state we are in, then we can truly love others as well. That is the whole point of doing spiritual practices: to become kinder, more loving human beings.

Becoming kinder, more loving human beings is a gradual journey, but we can speed it up by committing ourselves to doing daily practices that expand our minds and hearts. Last summer I attended a retreat with my Guru Ammachi, and she gave a really potent teaching about the importance of raising our consciousness. I transcribe it here from my notes:

“The mind’s natural tendency is to flow downwards like water. The mind is not in our control – negative tendencies pull it down, like water goes down. Conversely, Consciousness moves upwards like fire. When we do things to uplift our consciousness, then the mind goes upward. Fire is always going up. With fire, we can heat water, and the steam goes up. So even water (which usually goes down) will go up, with fire. Fire equals Awareness. So we should be constantly raising our Awareness, our Consciousness, with satsangs, with books, with whatever reminds us of the Truth – whatever keeps our minds tuned to the Highest Light.”

The Sanskrit word “satsang” means being in the company of others sharing spiritual teachings and practices. I attend satsangs, kirtans (call-and-response group chantings), and group meditations any chance I get. Those communal events warm me and enrich the spiritual practices that I do daily in order to continually expand my mind and heart. While doing dishes alone in my sunny kitchen, I cultivate the witness part of my mind. I ask myself, ‘What do I need to do next to keep my heart open?’

May you also tune in to your inner being each day, and may it lead you to the warm radiance of your heart.

May all beings everywhere know the warmth of Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of crystal reflecting yellow light in kitchen by Teja Shankara.