A few years ago, my boys came home from a morning walk and handed me a book that they’d found in a free pile. At that time I didn’t see how a book on aging and dying applied to my life, so I said thanks and put the book on the shelf. Well, recently I read and reviewed two books by Ram Dass: Be Here Now and Be Love Now (click on the book titles to read those reviews), and after that I just wanted to keep reading Ram Dass, so I pulled that old dusty free book off the shelf and I was delighted to discover what a gem it is!

Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing, and Dying, by Ram Dass, is a very inspiring and encouraging book for people of all ages. Ram Dass wrote most of this book before having a major debilitating stroke, but then he went back and re-worked it with all that he’s learned from the experience of the stroke. It is beautifully written, deeply touching, and incredibly potent in its delivery of elder wisdom. 

A how-to manual for conscious aging, changing, and dying, this really is a must-read for all earnest spiritual seekers. As Ram Dass points out, every spiritual tradition agrees that preparation for death is the single most important spiritual practice. Indeed, when I was leading the weekly Radiance Rising Circles, I went through a phase in which we focused on death for about eight Monday evenings in a row! At that time, I read aloud many stories from an amazing book that I highly recommend, Graceful Exits: How Great Beings Die, by Sushila Blackman.

This morning, as I went back through Still Here, reading and re-reading the parts I had highlighted with big stars in the margins, what struck me the most was the way Ram Dass brings everything to the Soul level. Here are a few examples: 

“The Soul is here to learn… We have to be here to learn; otherwise our difficulties are truly meaningless.”

“As our minds begin to quiet down, we notice that the thoughts and feelings associated with meaninglessness come and go, and that there exists, in the space between these arisings, a way of being that is not affected by these mind-states. The Soul, we discover, seeks no meaning; it’s “meaning,” to borrow that Ego-concept, is self-evident. A flower does not question its meaning or right to exist; it simply is, and its purpose is joy.”

“I tried to go the renunciate’s way, to forget the needs of the body in order to avoid the suffering of the Ego. But the Soul depends on the Ego’s drama for its teachings. We have to be in the world to learn from it.”

“The Soul has no trouble with mystery at all. Mystery is the Soul’s element… we begin to rest in the mysterious present and let the future unfold as it will.”

Another poignant teaching in Still Here has to do with staying open to whatever pains come our way in life. Ram Dass explains that suffering often points the way to where our work is. He writes:

“Just as physical pain alerts us to troubles in the body, mental pain alerts us to where we need to be more conscious. In other words, our frustrations, anger, delusions, and so on become our greatest helpers in freeing ourselves from suffering. They point to where our Ego is trapped, and remind us to begin to shift our identity to the Soul level. They show where we are resisting change, where we are time-bound, and where we need to grow beyond past conditioning.” 

As a regular practitioner of Cultivating the Witness, I particularly liked the way Ram Dass describes working with intense pain:

“The only solution is to be on two planes at once: you have to enter the pain fully, and yet be in the Soul level at the same time. That’s fierce! You feel the full intensity of the pain, and at the same time you transcend it by being in the Witness state. Pain demands that you establish yourself simultaneously in Ego and Soul. What an incredible teacher it is.”

And what an incredible teacher Ram Dass is. As I am still here, sitting on my red couch sipping hot tea and reading spiritual teachings (after almost 8 years of that practice!), I am super grateful for all that Ram Dass has given, and continues to give, to help raise the consciousness of the human species.

May all beings rise above and beyond their pains, to rest in the level of the Soul.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Teja (still here on the red couch) with Still Here by Ram Dass, taken by Teja Shankara.

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New Year’s is an auspicious time to call upon Sri Ganesha, the elephant-headed Hindu god who is the Remover of all obstacles. Last January, at the Radiance Rising Circles, we chanted to Ganesha the first five weeks of the year! This year, in absence of the weekly circles, I have been chanting to Ganesha whilst doing household chores. Yesterday I found this cosmic Ganesha image on a sweet blog called balanced spirituality by a yogini named Ekta. After reading about her path with another saint called Amma (Sri Karunamayi Amma), I then went to the website of my Guru Ammachi’s ashram, and printed out excerpts from her New Year’s Message 2012.

At Amritapuri, on the 1^st of January, Amma said the following: “Nature – which was once like a kamadhenu, the wish-fulfilling cow – has dried up. The oil supply is rapidly decreasing. The food supply is dwindling. Potable water and pure air are becoming scarce. Where did we go wrong? The real mistake we committed lies in our inability to differentiate between requirements and luxuries. If our current generation could reinstate such an awareness of Dharma, then poverty and starvation would vanish like a bad dream.”

Indeed, there are many obstacles facing humanity as we begin this New Year, and thus it is a very good time to call upon Lord Ganesha, who blesses new beginnings. In the talk, Amma goes on to say that many people tell her that the world will end in 2012, but she doesn’t feel that will happen. She says that Nature is agitated and tragedies are always taking place everywhere in the world, and that will continue to be so, but we should not live in fear. Instead, Amma says we should cultivate an attitude of acceptance in which we say “Whatever happens I will remain strong, courageous, and happy.”

To read the full message, please click here: Amma’s New Year’s Message 2012.

Om Gam Ganapataye Namah! May Sri Ganapati (Ganesha) bless all beings and remove all obstacles on the path to goodness and happiness. 

Om Shanti (Peace), 

Yogini Tejaswini

Image of Cosmic Ganesha from balanced spirituality blog. When I learn the name of the artist I will share it here…

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I snapped this photo of myself on New Year’s Eve, after returning from my true home, the Amma Satsang. It was the perfect way for this yogini to end the year: chanting the Names of God and meditating with a loving sangha (spiritual community). Just the day before I had finished reading Ram Dass’ book, Be Love Now, so I was already feeling quite full of loving spiritual energies.

Be Love Now is truly more than just some papers bound together. Whilst reading about Ram Dass’ experiences with Neem Karoli Baba-ji, I felt as though I received spiritual transmissions, and my daily sitting meditation practice has deepened as a result.

What I loved most about this book is the way the sacred and the mundane are woven together, which is reminiscent of what Maharaj-ji (Neem Karoli Baba) taught. Primarily a “householder guru,” who himself was married with children, he spent much time counseling people on the ordinary aspects of householder life. Ram Dass describes the way loving service can transform even the ordinary act of grocery shopping:

“That’s the Hanuman mode, serving through love, opening and opening until you become the Beloved or the Beloved becomes you. You’re absorbed into that consciousness, and the Beloved’s being permeates yours. Then the ego perception shifts to the soul perception, the whole world is radiant, and the grocery store is your temple, full of souls.”

Ram Dass explains that in India “holiness is not confined to celibate sadhus or renunciates.” In fact, Maharaj-ji himself said that one can reach God while fulfilling his or her duties as a householder.

Of course we householders need to be disciplined and committed to our daily spiritual practices, and Ram Dass also offers much in the way of spiritual teaching and inspiration for keeping ourselves dedicated to the path. In one section that really struck a chord in me, Ram Dass points out that attachment is attachment on any plane. In reference to the loving and helpful guides we can access on the astral planes, he writes:

“By acknowledging such immaterial beings and planes as equally real – but not more real – than this immediate reality, you start to free yourself of attachment to any one plane or level of reality. Thinking of them as more real than this physical reality, however, can create more attachment. The attraction to the energies and mysteries of other planes can be a tremendous distraction or side trip from one’s path. Attachment is attachment on any plane.” 

In addition to sharing much about his guru Neem Karoli Baba, Ram Dass (and his co-author, Rameshwar Das) also highlight the incredibly inspiring accounts of many other Indian saints, including Anandamayi Ma, Sri Ramakrishna, Sri Ramana Maharshi, Sri Nityananda, and more. I received darshan (a view or encounter with a holy being) from the photographs of several of these high beings.

And then what it comes down to, when I finished reading the book, is: can I apply these teachings to my daily life? Well, sometimes yes, and sometimes no… So, in the moments when I cannot rise above my own limitations, I am heartened by Ram Dass’ words in Be Love Now: 

“You can only go at the rate you can go…The only thing you can ask is that you keep awakening at the fastest rate at which you’re capable. You can’t go any faster than that…” 

That advice echoes my favorite part of his spiritual classic of several decades ago, Be Here Now, in which he wrote, “You can’t rip the skin off the snake. The snake must moult the skin. That’s the rate it happens.” (See my review of that book: Teja’s Review of Be Here Now by Ram Dass)

Obviously I highly recommend Ram Dass’ new book, Be Love Now. I have so much Gratitude for all the beautiful seva (service) that Ram Dass gives to help raise the consciousness of the human species. May all beings everywhere benefit from his work.

May all beings be happy and free.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Happy Teja on New Year’s Eve with Ram Dass’ book Be Love Now taken by Teja Shankara.

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Do you ever feel strange, like you are simultaneously here and not really here? It is difficult to explain the experience in words, but it is something I have noticed since I was in high school. Back then I felt completely scared and freaked out by the sensation, so I went to the priest and told him about it. He gave me chocolate candies and soothing words, which comforted me, but then when I got to college, I again felt freaked out by feeling like I wasn’t really here, even though I knew I was here…

So, at that stage in the journey, I went to the university’s health clinic and signed up for some free counseling sessions with a psychology intern. He listened and diagnosed me with a “depersonalization disorder.” I can’t remember what I thought of that with my young 19-year-old brain, and I can’t remember if I did anything about it, except to continue trying to find depth and connection through alcohol and other bad habits…

This past week I have been feeling that strangeness again, only this time I have nearly a decade’s worth of studying Yogic philosophy in my brain, so I don’t feel afraid. Instead, I am thinking “Well, isn’t this an interesting experience!” Remembering that counselor’s assessment, that I was disconnecting from my personality, I now see that it is a normal – and welcome – part of the spiritual process of allowing the ego/personality to fall away so that the soul can radiate love in all directions. 

Experiencing different levels of consciousness simultaneously is nothing to be afraid of, if you have the proper framework for understanding the sensations. When I gaze at a basket full of bright holiday cheer, at the level of the physical senses I may feel delight, but that’s not all that’s going on in my multi-layered being… At the level of the soul, I might be traveling in and out of several dimensions in just a few seconds! It is like that for all of us, whether we are aware of it or not.

As my beloved teacher David La Chapelle would say, there’s a lot more going on (all the time) than what we see.

May all fear be cast away from the human species. May all beings dissolve into warm, bright Love. 

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of holiday cheer by Teja Shankara.

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Happy Birthday to Gandhi-ji, who was born 142 years ago today! I’m celebrating his life as I head off to a soccer game with my parents who are visiting this week… Life is crazy-busy-full right now, which is why I’ve been away from the Teja Blog.

If you have any questions (see “New Teja Blog Feature: Ask Teja!”), please email them to me: teja@yogini-bliss.com

Let’s all follow Gandhi-ji’s advice and strive to be the change we wish to see in the world!

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Mahatma Gandhi sourced from TopNews.in

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One of the most transformative times of my life occurred this June, on the last night of my time with Amma… it was Devi Bhava night, the night when Amma dresses as the Divine Mother and many devotees stay up all night chanting, praying, and watching Amma give darshan (hugs and blessings) into the morning hours. I have stayed up all night many times for Devi Bhava, but this June I didn’t think I was going to be able to do it, since I was feeling so exhausted… but I kept praying that I would be able to do it, and my prayers were answered twenty-fold! Not only was I able to stay up all night, but in the morning I still had plenty of energy!

The evening began with a special puja (ritual worship) in which Amma blessed the water, which was then distributed to everyone present. Amma also gave a talk, in which she said the following:

“We blame fate for unexpected things, but fate is like a seed that grows into actions. Fate, in the form of a seed, becomes the thoughts that arise in the mind as repeated desires, and then those desires become actions. We can change our fate with awareness. Fate’s power only extends to the thoughts that arise in the mind as repeated desires. The seeds of our vasanas (negative tendencies) cannot grow in the Light of Awareness. When we understand the nature of worldly objects, then we lose our attraction to them. When we develop discernment, then we can destroy the negativities as they arise. We should have complete control over our minds. Strict daily routines help develop purity of actions. Constant practice awakens Awareness…. We will see the results of our practices after some time.”

Swami-ji (one of Amma’s revered teachers) then led a beautiful meditation for peace. He said that just as a flower opens up to the sun, our heart opens up to the Universe… then he said that Amma asks us all to pray for World Peace – to pray for those in Japan and other places with natural disasters… Amma says that Nature is agitated and only Divine Grace can help us… Amma asks us to pray for the Entire Creation, even our enemies… Om Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu ~ May all beings everywhere be happy.

As I said above, it was incredibly easy for me to stay up that whole night. So much Love filled my being and it was as if I floated through the whole night on a Bliss Cloud! Then, as the first light appeared in the sky, I took the above photo of the hills… but somehow the flash made it look as if it was still dark… and lots of little orb beings showed up in the photo!

Then, as I was leaving Amma’s Field (around 10:00am), my primary vasana (negative tendency) suddenly flared up quite strongly, and I could see it more clearly than ever before: I could see that it isn’t me – it is like a kink in my system, like an entity or structure that is separate from me. I got very angry at the vasana and in a flash of Kali-like fire, I took a no-drama vow. The details of this vow are a secret until after I complete the six months, and then I will share about it, so stay tuned here on the Teja Blog! (To read the background story of my primary vasana, please order my spiritual memoir, The Rita Lila: A Western Yogini’s Journey to Bliss)

May all beings commit to doing spiritual practices that help them to develop mind control and purity of actions. May we all live in Harmony together on this sacred planet earth. 

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of orbs over Amma’s hills taken by Teja Shankara. The Rita Lila book cover designed by Gaelyn Larrick.

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Currently my favorite spiritual book is Chants of a Lifetime: Searching For a Heart of Gold, by Krishna Das. The quote on the back cover, by Daniel Goleman (author of Emotional Intelligence), says it all: “Krishna Das offers a gift of love – this candid, lively, and helpful guide to the path that opens the heart. Chants of a Lifetime is an instant spiritual classic.” Indeed! Even though I finished reading the book while visiting Amma, I continue to read through the parts I highlighted with red pen. As I read those parts again and again (and take notes down from them), I realize that this book is most definitely an instant spiritual classic.

I have read quite a few books by various Neem Karoli Baba devotees, and they are all good in their own ways, but this book by Krishna Das outshines them all because he brings Neem Karoli Baba through in a way that only he could do – with his own unique “Krishna Das-ness”! He not only transmits the Presence of Neem Karoli Baba, but he also conveys brilliant spiritual wisdom of his own… and whether he’s exposing his raw, heartwrenching dark times, or creating wonderful metaphors, he expresses it all with a hilarious and earthy sense of humor.

There are so many great parts I’d like to share, but then I would just be copying down most of the book here… so I’ll close this little book review blog with one section that really captures his delightful writing style:

“It’s as if we’re living on the front lawn of our own home. We’ve been locked out of ourselves for so long that we forget there is a house to live in. We buy all kinds of stuff and put it on the lawn. Yes, all that furniture and that expensive flat-screen HDTV are on the lawn. Then when they get rained on and ruined, causing us unhappiness, we think that that’s the way it has to be. We’ve forgotten what a house is for. We’ve forgotten that there even is a house. We’ve forgotten that there is shelter inside of our own hearts. The guru calls us up from the phone inside the house, “Hey! Look in the window! I’m inside here. Come on in!” We know all the right words – “God is within,” “Guru, God, and Self are one” – but we’re talking from outside of ourselves, sitting on the front lawn. That’s why we Westerners can do so much practice without it actually changing our lives. It’s relatively easy to do practice; we’re great at doing stuff, but we’re even better at making sure that it doesn’t have any real effect on us. Why? Because we’ve lost that connection to our simple inner being. We don’t trust ourselves, and we don’t know how to be good to ourselves…. In the case of chanting, the medicine of the Name removes the illness of looking outside for love, and awakens an inner strength and confidence and a feeling of well-being as we move deeper into our own hearts.”

After chanting along with Krishna Das’ CDs for more than eight years, I can attest to the Truth of that – I definitely feel much stronger now, and I am super grateful to Krishna Das for how much he has helped me on the path. I bow down with Infinite Gratitude for all of the good seva (service) that he offers this sacred planet.

May all beings everywhere know Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Chants of Lifetime on Teja’s coffee table taken by Teja Shankara.

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One of my favorite parts of spending time at Amma’s ashram is listening to the evening talks by her disciples. The talks are filled with wisdom, and delivered with delightful humor! One such talk, given by one of Amma’s brahmacharis, centered around realizing our helplessness and finding the compassion within ourselves. He began by saying that realizing our helplessness helps us to let go of our egos, and then he talked about how helpless we feel when disasters hit.

He said that since the disaster in Japan, many people are finding the Compassionate One within – even a tough motorcycle gang that used to cause trouble (in Japan) gave up their gang flag and joined the relief work. What he said next really struck a chord in me: “We don’t have to travel to Japan to do disaster relief work – there are disaster victims all around us, since anger is a disaster – anger pollutes everything – we can do selfless service by just showing compassion to everyone around us.” He concluded the talk by saying that Amma teaches us to control ourselves and find strength within. She says that adversity is our greatest Guru because it helps us to realize our potential.

The next evening when I sat down to dinner, the Amma quote taped to the table at my spot read, “In real prayer, you bow down, surrender, and declare your helplessness.” There it was again – that word “helplessness”! For the remainder of my time there, focusing on that word “helplessness” helped me to let go more than ever before; that word was a big part of my transformation that week.

To read some of my previous articles on anger, click here on their titles: “Working Skillfully with Anger” and “Cultivating the Witness 101: Managing Anger”

May all beings find surrender through admitting their helplessness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of hills around Amma’s California ashram taken by Teja Shankara.

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This is a short note to share the gorgeous beauty on my kitchen table today. This past week has been a wild ride: I returned home from my pilgrimage to see Ammachi (in California) on June 10^th; my parents arrived to visit on June 11^th; and I went back to work at the outdoor gear shoppe on June 12^th. This past week I worked over 49 hours, while my parents were visiting! They drove away today, and although I felt sad to see them go, I have to admit I am enjoying this quiet time to myself! With the boys at Papa’s house, I now have a little time for reflecting… while I catch up on dishes, laundry, bills, and shopping!

Here’s my little reflection for today: after being away from Amma for ten days now, I am amazed at how the transformation is not only lasting, but it is deepening and ever-unfolding. I asked Amma to help me release the attachment to the earthguy, and to help me find acceptance and peace… And Amma has given me all of that, and so much more! I am experiencing what Rumi called “the sweetness that comes after grief.” I feel so in love with everyone and everything!

Well, now I’m off to take a barefoot walk in the sunshine…

May all beings everywhere find Acceptance of What IS… and may that Acceptance lead to an experience of inner bliss! 

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of gorgeous roses on kitchen table by Teja Shankara.

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On June 1^st I drove down to Castro Valley, California to see my beloved Guru Ammachi, who is popularly known as the “hugging saint” from India. During the drive, I was feeling distraught and overwhelmed by the on-going grief over the earthguy who I long for but cannot be with… so when I went up to Amma for the first darshan (her embrace), I gave her a letter in which I asked for her help in releasing the attachment and finding acceptance and peace. So many transformational things happened during that week with Amma, and I will write about them in a series of blog articles. In today’s article I’m focusing on why I look so happy in this photo taken of me on that sacred land at Amma’s ashram.

Each evening there was a program with a talk, bhajans (devotional songs), and a guided meditation. The first evening, one of Amma’s devotees gave the talk. He said that in India everything is considered to be God: all of Nature is seen as Divine, so plants and trees are worshipped at sunrise and even the buildings are seen as God. He explained that Indian culture is based on the principle that the Creator and the creation are not two. Then he said – and this is what really touched my heart – that rather than being in love with just one person out of seven billion persons, Amma is in love with the entire Universe: past, present, and future. The fullness of Amma’s Love is what makes her Shine. He then said that when we get fed up with the current state of our minds, then we start trying to transform ourselves and be like Amma.

That talk affected me so deeply that the next day I felt my smile rising again, and I felt so happy to be smiling so much at all of the beautiful beings around me. In this photo I see that Amma’s shine was radiating through me, transforming the grief into joy.

I bow down to Ammachi, with Gratitude for all of her blessings. 

May all beings know Peace and Happiness. 

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Happy Teja in Amma’s Field by Teja Shankara.

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