In my very first blog post, on January 6, 2010 (Practically Applying the Path of Renunciation to the Worldly Life), I wrote about the negative effects of anger. Before writing today’s thoughts on anger, I will copy a few paragraphs from that article here:

It used to be popular to encourage people to really get their anger out, but now current research shows that anger releases the dreaded hormone cortisol into our bodies. Cortisol is the stress hormone that causes a lot of harm to the body. Once released, it remains active for up to 6-8 hours. Even talking about an incident that made us angry can release cortisol.

This current research validates what the spiritual masters of India have long since been teaching: that getting angry is not good for us.

Anandamayi Ma, a blissful mystic who lived in India 1896-1982, said the following on anger, “When anger arises in your heart try to cast it away… At the slightest indication of anger drink a sufficient quantity of cold water. Anger harms a human being in every respect. It produces the action of poison in the body. Pray to God to preserve you from this mood.” (Women of Power and Grace: Nine Astonishing, Inspiring Luminaries of Our Time, by Timothy Conway, Ph.D., the Wake Up Press, Santa Barbara, CA, 1995.)

Neem Karoli Baba, the Guru of Ram Dass, Bhagavan Das, Krishna Das, Jai Uttal, and myself, also encouraged people to let go of anger. One devotee said the following, “Whenever I would get very angry, Maharajji would have someone bring me warm milk, or sweets, or some cardamom pods to chew. He said these things soften anger.” (Miracle of Love: Stories about Neem Karoli Baba, by Ram Dass, A Dutton Paperback, E.P. Dutton, NY, 1979.)

While I agree that anger is not good for us, there are times when anger can help us to break through something, and there are times when someone has wronged us and our anger is justified. At those times, I think the key is learning how to work skillfully with the anger.

Cultivating the Witness, that part of ourselves that objectively witnesses everything, is a helpful practice for working skillfully with anger. When we engage the Witness, then we can keep focused on watching the anger, rather than becoming the anger. (I write in more detail about Cultivating the Witness in my pocket book, Radiance Rising: Spiritual Practices for Daily Living, available on this website store in print or by e-book.)

Spiritual practices help me so much when anger is passing through my system. Sitting in silent meditation, I witness the anger in my system. I allow the anger, I accept the anger, and I intend for the anger to dissolve at the right time. I visualize the anger transforming into love, creativity, and service.

Sometimes I practice Tonglen, a Buddhist technique in which you breathe in the anger (or other negative emotion), for yourself and for everyone who is feeling anger in that moment, and then you breathe out love for yourself and for everyone else too. This practice has a very calming effect on an angry system. There is so much joy in witnessing the power that our hearts have to transmute negative energies into healing energies.

Chanting (singing) devotional songs while playing harmonium also helps me to shift into a more loving state. Instead of trying to make the anger go away, or to pretend that I’m not angry (when I really am angry), I just bring the anger right on into the singing, and allow the sound vibration to transform it. Even the most stubborn anger state will eventually dissolve in the practice of singing to God. The heart just can’t resist melting in the melodies.

Another way that I work skillfully with anger is by just letting it be there, but also consciously putting my attention on other things. The ancient Indian sutra states: The mind becomes that which it dwells upon. So, in the practice of Cultivating the Witness, it is a good idea – especially when witnessing anger – to just witness it, and then put the mind on more positive things.

May all beings learn to work skillfully with anger when it arises in them. May all anger states dissolve into the pure love energy that connects us all.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Teja’s harmonium by Teja Shankara.

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This Sunday, July 25th, 1-4pm, I will be selling my books and leading chants with harmonium at the Sunday market at Jackson Wellsprings in Ashland.

This casual artisan market has a really great community feeling to it. Wonderful items for sale, including: hula hoops, jewelry, hand-crafted wooden meditation benches and more!!!!

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

http://www.facebook.com/tejashankara

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It is a glorious blue sky day with warm sunshine here in Ashland. I'm sipping hot coffee (with a spoonful of maple syrup in it!), as I write this brief bit of news. Here's just a few of the things on my mind and heart ~

~ According to the Mayan Calendar, this Saturday and Sunday (July 17-18) is a really potent time for meditation. It is a portal in which to experience Unity Consciousness. A non-profit organization called Common Passion has information about this Conscious Convergence (including the many events scheduled around the world), on their website, www.commonpassion.org.

~ As I mentioned previously, I was scheduled to offer meditation sessions and Radiance Rising Circles at the Mystic Garden Party (July 21-26 in Corning, California), but a few days ago I went onto the Mystic Garden Party website to view the schedule, and I was dismayed to see that one of the focal points for the festival will be forums and presentations on entheogenics. (Entheogens are psycho-active plant based substances used for spiritual or religious reasons, such as ganja (pot), mushrooms, ayahuasca, peyote, etc.) I knew that people would be taking such substances at the festival, and although I prefer to not be around those vibrations, I planned to go anyway, so that I could soak in all the incredible kirtan (Dave Stringer! Bhagavan Das!), and the yummy yoga, and all the other delights.

If they were just offering one small workshop on entheogens, I would still have gone, but since entheogenics is going to be highlighted throughout each day and evening, I decided that I did not want my name associated with that festival. Ironically, I was preparing a brochure to bring that would explain the detrimental effects that ganja and other substances have on spiritual practices and on every aspect of healing. 

(Also, on February 28, 2010, I had posted a blog on this issue. You can read that post at: http://yogini-bliss.com/66-the-teja-challenge.html)

~ I am really enjoying writing the articles for this Teja Blog. Also, I am now posting my monthly newsletter (The Tejaswini Playground Press) on the Teja Blog, so you can either read the newsletters on the blog, or sign-up to receive the newsletters by email. 

(To sign up for the newsletters, go to: http://yogini-bliss.com/component/option,com_ccnewsletter/Itemid,61/view,ccnewsletter/)

~ In June I attended a program through Insight Prison Project, where I met two wonderful men who work for Homeboy Industries in Los Angeles, an organization founded by Father Greg Boyle to help get gang members off the streets. Consider donating to this really great program: www.homeboy-industries.org

~ For those of you who live in the Ashland area, just a reminder that I still offer the Radiance Rising Circles every Monday evening, 7:30pm in the Jackson Wellsprings Community Room. We chant with my harmonium, sit in silent meditation, and share spiritual teachings. Free, open to men and women, and drop-ins are always welcome. (View the flyer at: http://yogini-bliss.com/Events-Calendar/2010-07-19/Radiance-Rising-Circles-with-Tejaswini-Rachel-Ann-Shankara/282.html)

~ Lastly, I am really enjoying Facebook these days.... find me there at: http://www.facebook.com/tejashankara

Well, sorry this wasn't as brief as I'd planned! Let's blame it on the coffee!

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini (Teja Shankara)

Photo of Teja by Teja Shankara.

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One afternoon, while visiting Amma’s Castro Valley ashram, I sat on the hillside behind the hall, reading the Ramayana and enjoying the incredibly blue sky above me. I read the part where Sita gives a speech to Hanuman about fate, destiny, suffering, and dharma. She says, “No one, not Rama nor you nor I, escapes the fruit of karma, be they sweet or so bitter that they destroy us.” (The Ramayana: A Modern Retelling of the Great Indian Epic, by Ramesh Menon, North Point Press, New York, 2003.)

I am continually amazed by how I always seem to read the perfect teaching for the moment. As I read that section of the Ramayana, I was going through my own bit of sorrow and longing for rest. After a bit of unproductive ruminating, I took out my journal and wrote the following:

“I am doing the best that I can, given the intensity of sorrow that I feel in this moment. I can’t rest because I am too involved in external connections. Over and over, I keep writing that the only true Bliss channel is inside. I keep writing that with the intention to really GET IT! I intend to go within for my Bliss and my Light.

“I have so many moments of directly experiencing that the only true Bliss channel is inside, but then again and again I forget and indulge in the longing for union with an earthly man. Right now, while in the pain body, “Union with Lord Shiva” is just four words, devoid of meaning in my direct present moment experience.”

Still feeling blue, though not the blue of vibrancy like the sky, I continued cultivating the witness as I walked down to the pond. I spread a blanket in the sunshine, and delighted in seeing a black heron on a rock across the pond. I wrote this poem:

large black bird
spreads feather wings
under golden sun.
Tejaswini says
Fly, magical one,
Fly!
mirror freedom
for this sorrowing yogini.

As I sat writing down all my sorrows, and witnessing my inability in that moment to break free of the pain body, I noticed that there were three different musical groups happening in the meadow around me. Behind me, a circle of Sufi dancers sang to Ganesha; to my left a large kirtan gathering chanted to Krishna and Rama; and to my right an elderly couple sang songs along with a variety of instruments. Despite my best efforts to remain stuck in the pain body(!), all of that live devotional music was working on me. Gradually the music shifted my thoughts into more positive tones.

As I witnessed myself relaxing into the Love in my heart, I was pleasantly reminded of why I love chanting (singing) so much. Through the practice of chanting, I can and do shift states. Once I shifted out of the pain body, I felt the inner Bliss and remembered that I want to be a servant and shine my Light out to others. I want to live inside the chant!

Of course it doesn’t help to beat ourselves up for feeling sad, and there are times of sorrow that we just have to live through. At those times, we can cultivate the witness and watch ourselves grieving. While watching and allowing the grief to pass through, we can also do spiritual practices that help us shift into the Bliss of our true nature.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of blue sky at Amma’s by Teja Shankara

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Ammachi, popularly known as the “hugging saint,” is one of the world’s top religious/spiritual leaders, alongside the Pope, the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Grand Rabbi of Israel, the Grand Ayatollah, and the Dalai Lama. Her international ashram in Kerala, India, is home to more than 3,000 people, and her humanitarian organization, Embracing the World, serves the poor and suffering in India and around the world. Twice each year, Amma tours the U.S., where her main center is located just outside of San Ramon, California. (www.amma.org)

In June, 2006, I began seeing Amma and receiving her darshan ~ literally the word “darshan” means a vision of a holy person, and with Amma it also means a hug!

Over the course of the eight pilgrimages I have made to receive Amma’s darshan and blessings, I have noticed a cumulative effect with her hugs, with her spiritual teachings, and with her Grace appearing in my life.

It is difficult for me to explain my relationship with Amma. By now I have many darshan stories to share, but for this blog post, I will just tell one story. Of all the meaningful embraces with Amma, this one really blew me open.

It was during the Devi Bhava night, the special night when Amma dresses as the Divine Mother and many people stay up all night watching her give hugs until the morning light. At midnight I sat in the snack shop drinking coffee and laughing with other devotees. Then at 3:30am, it was time for my darshan, so I got in the line heading up to the small Indian woman adorned in a purple, gold, and orange sari. (Usually Amma wears white, but on Devi Bhava nights she wears a colorful shimmering sari.)

When I first got into the darshan line I didn’t feel at all nervous. I was enjoying the bhajans (devotional songs with traditional Indian instruments), and I felt really connected to everything and everyone. But, as I got closer to the stage, my hands got sweaty and my heart was beating faster, and I was shaking. I felt like the force of Amma’s Shakti (spiritual power) could blow me off the stage into outer space! I suspected that there would be some special shakti in this particular darshan experience, and I was right.

As they plunged me into the fragrant carnation garland around her chest, I heard Amma saying into my ear, “My daughter, my daughter, my daughter,” and then it all happened so fast: Amma gave me an apple, and the attendants rushed me to take the prasad (a blessed chocolate kiss and rose petals) from Amma, and then all of a sudden, without planning to, I looked at Amma and said, “Can I touch your feet?” Amma said, “Okay,” in the cute voice that an innocent child might use, and I delighted in the sound of her voice in English. (Usually she speaks Malayalam and the Swamis translate into English.)

I went to the side and bowed, then sat down to eat the chocolate kiss. Still shaking, I kept thinking, ‘Amma gave me an apple! Amma gave me an apple!’ And then a flood of other thoughts: ‘Why did she give me an apple? Can I really receive an apple from the Mother of the Universe? Do I really deserve this apple?’ and so on… Later a friend told me that Amma probably gave me the apple as a way to recognize all of my hard work.

It took me a couple of days to eat that apple. Sitting in the sunshine by the pond, I slowly ate the apple. I saved the seeds to plant someday.

As I continue my daily spiritual practices, I feel hugely boosted by that time with Amma. Though I don’t understand yet fully with my mind, I sense that she gave me a whole lot more than just a piece of fruit when she placed that apple in my hand. I am so grateful for all that I have received, and all that I continue to receive from Amma.

Ten percent of every sale and donation on this website store goes to Amma’s charitable organizations. With the dozens of humanitarian projects of Embracing the World, there are no paid staff members, so all of the money goes directly to help the poor and suffering.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Teja with apple from Amma by Teja Shankara.

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As I was driving into Ammachi’s Castro Valley ashram (the M.A. Center) in June, 2008, I was singing along with a Krishna Das chant to Sita-Ram-Hanuman, and with the passion of a red-hot fire, I said firmly, out loud, “I want to live inside the chant.” Those words startled me, for a few reasons, and I immediately burst into tears.

The tears flowed as I parked my car in the meadow and headed up the hill to see Amma. I was crying because it was such a relief to admit out loud what it was that I really wanted for my life. I was also crying because I knew that it meant the end of my current relationship, because that was not the same kind of life that he wanted. For weeks I had been wrestling with the question: ‘are we spiritually aligned to stay together?’ The part of me that was really in love with him wanted to find the yes answer, so that part of me grieved when it heard me say definitively, “I want to live inside the chant.”

What does living inside the chant mean? For me, it means putting my spiritual practices at the top of my daily list. Meditation, mantra japa, and chanting (singing) are my pathways to Bliss. They are what bring me into a state of Union with my own beloved heart. So when I said that I wanted to live inside the chant, I meant that I could no longer put anything else before my connection with God. That is my primary connection, and when I keep that connection sacred at the top of my priority list, then everything else magically and effortlessly falls into place.

The knowingness that I realized about living inside the chant stems from a deep lifelong devotion. Last summer a friend told me that I had the same chocolate center of devotion as Bhagavan Das. At the time, I felt touched by my friend saying that, but I didn’t fully understand it. Recently though, I contemplated the thread of my lifelong devotion, and I understood what my friend was saying. Like Bhagavan Das, I have journeyed through several spiritual paths this lifetime. I was Catholic until age 23, and I totally loved it – all that fragrant incense, and colorful stained glass images, and a quiet place to pray – I never once complained about going to church!

My second path was Judaism for ten years, during which time I also studied Native American, Buddhist, Daoist, and Muslim traditions. I thoroughly enjoyed learning about them all. Then, at age 33, I suddenly felt drawn to India, Hinduism, and the Yoga Path. I met an American spiritual teacher, who taught me so much during our brief six years together (he died July 21, 2009), and through him I learned much about the pathways to Bliss. While studying with him I was drawn to Neem Karoli Baba and to Amma, and took them both as my Gurus.

The thread that has been consistent through all of the paths is the same thread that has been consistent through Bhagavan Das’ paths, and that thread is an intensity of devotion. From a little Catholic girl in the church pew to a yogini in Amma’s arms, I am ever intensely devoted to nurturing my connection with God.

This connection with the Divine (or whatever you call that Something Greater) manifests in billions of ways here on this beautiful planet earth. Whatever ways it manifests for you, may they be blessed.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of bee on flower by Richard Broderick – CC license

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A friend once told me that I am a “magician in the kitchen.” Yesterday I definitely felt the correctness of that label. There is an alchemy to my kitchen creations, which begins with the following rituals: first I light a candle and a stick of incense, then I turn on some chanting music and sing while waving the incense all around my cottage. I continue singing as I turn on the flame beneath the pot of beans, and begin chopping the vegetables.

Last night I was cooking and singing along with my current favorite chant artist, Girish, when my dear friend Thomas walked by. I invited him in to join me for the vegan feast I had created, which we enjoyed while listening to Girish’s “Reveal” CD. www.girishmusic.com.

When we sing while cooking, the positive sound vibrations go into the food, which makes the food not only taste better, but it also transforms the food into being a carrier of high vibrations. Thus, chanting while cooking brings healing to our inner beings, to the environment, and to our physical bodies.

I am very committed to raising my vibration and helping to raise the vibration of the human species. Chanting Sanskrit mantras from my heart raises my vibration and then that ripples out to others. When our vibrations go up, we then care more about what we put into our bodies. Organic, vegan foods are better for our bodies and they are better for the environment.

Here is the menu for the vegan dinner I prepared last night: quinoa cooked with Himalayan Krystal Salt, beets boiled and then sprinkled with the same salt, a curried mung bean dal cooked with lots of fresh ginger, and a savory vegetable sauté. For the sauté, first I put an onion in a few tablespoons of grapeseed oil, then added soy sauce and the following vegetables, as I chopped them, in this order: turnip, rutabega, carrot, garlic cloves, portabella mushroom, green kale, and fresh basil leaves. I served the meal with more fresh basil on top.

I absolutely love cooking, especially when I am singing at the same time. Singing and cooking with an open heart takes me to a state of inner Bliss. As I watch myself expanding, I feel incredible gratitude: for the food, for the music, and for the ever-expanding spiritual practice of cultivating the witness. The more I consciously witness myself, the greater the expansions become.

As I enjoy healthy vegan cuisine, I also remember that nearly 1 billion people are starving on this planet right now. I feel intense grief about that, so I am limiting the amount of food that I eat at each meal, to help myself remember all those starving people. I also donate money to Amma, as she is working tirelessly to feed the poor and suffering. www.amma.org.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of yogini cooking vegan dinner by Thomas Stekkinger.

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The Tejaswini Playground Press

Photo by Ashley Marie - CC license

We create our realities with our thoughts. Cultivating the witness, that part of our minds that objectively watches everything we are, allows us to clearly see all of our thoughts. Through the power of watching our thoughts, we gradually change the way we perceive the world. We shift from viewing the world as a serious court of justice to seeing this universe as a joyous playground. Like gleeful children, we get to play and celebrate during this lifetime we've been given. On the playground we enjoy ourselves fully, even if sometimes we scrape our knees or get our hearts broken! No matter what pains we go through, we can't let the heartbreaks keep us from opening up and having a good time on the playground.

Here is a bit of news from the fun I'm having lately on the Tejaswini Playground ~

~ Last month when I sent out this newsletter, I was preparing for my friend Pete’s visit. He was here for nearly 3 weeks, and we accomplished a lot during that time. He helped me make my new book, Radiance Rising: Spiritual Practices for Daily Living, into an e-book, so people now have the choice on my website store to buy it in print or by e-book. (http://www.yogini-bliss.com.) We also recorded some video interviews and chants that you can watch on my YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/16Tejaswini. AND, most importantly, we had a lot of fun together! Even though we spent a considerable amount of time working on our computers, we also went to kirtans (including Dave Stringer live!), took walks about town (see cute video of one such walk at: http://www.youtube.com/user/YogiSinzapatos#p/u/2/zuqZKZezUWU), had dinners with friends, and attended a few parties.

~ For me, one of the highlights of Pete’s visit was sharing sadhana (spiritual practices) together. We sat in silent meditation each morning and each evening, plus we did a lot of chanting (singing) along with CDs and along with my harmonium. Both Pete and my dear sister Britt suggested that I invite people to stay with me to experience a week of sadhana, along with my good vegan cooking. Perhaps someday I will follow that vision!

~ Another wonderful aspect of Pete’s visit was the way we navigated the days. I am usually a list-maker and a planner, but with him here I let go of the controls and allowed each day to be a spontaneous flow. It was so good for me to experience that not only does the work still get done that way, it gets done with less stress and more fun! That way of flowing also changed the way I am writing articles for the Teja Blog, so I am now enjoying that creative process more than ever.

~ The last couple of days were a whirlwind of activity, centered around giving each other buzz cuts and birthing the Buzz for Bliss Campaign. It all started when we were editing the hilarious video that we made of him giving me a buzz cut with a pair of scissors in the middle of the night! You can read all about that at www.buzz-for-bliss.com, and you can also read the inside story about it on the Teja Blog, in the two posts entitled “Buzz for Bliss: The Inside Story,” and “Buzz for Bliss: The Story Continues.” In these articles I explain why I buzzed my hair (to help me release my attachment to Pete), and how I adjusted to his absence after he departed for England.

~ My buzz cut video got nearly 7,000 views in the first week alone! Check it out at: http://www.youtube.com/user/16Tejaswini. And please consider buzzing your own hair for Peace. For details on how buzzing your hair will help raise Unity Consciousness and how you can donate your hair to help stop the BP oil spill, go to www.buzz-for-bliss.com and http://www.moving-overseas-guide.com/bp-oil-spill.html.

~ As I mentioned last month, I am feeling really called to teach meditation and Reiki energy healing in prisons. To that end, I am going to attend a training program in San Rafael at the end of this month. The training is through Insight Prison Project, and it teaches participants how to be facilitators of a process called VOEG, the Victim Offender Education Group. I will share about this training experience in next month’s newsletter.

~ After the prison facilitator training program, I will go to see Ammachi for a few days in Castro Valley. I am really looking forward to those hugs! (www.amma.org)

~ I am still reading The Ramayana: A Modern Retelling of the Great Indian Epic, by Ramesh Menon. I’m now on page 252 of the 686 page book! It is the best book I have ever read. Here are a few phrases from the chapter I read today: “Don’t chase after pleasure any more. Accept whatever comes to you, joy or grief, calmly…. Don’t be too attached to anyone, nor coldly detached; adopt a middle course.” (Vali, the vanara king, giving parting words of wisdom to his son, as he lay dying upon the earth.)

~ I am really loving the weekly Radiance Rising Circles even more, now that I got up the courage to lead the chants on my harmonium. I love singing! At the last circle we toned the heart chakra mantra YAM, and I shared some teachings by Sri Ramana Maharshi, a great sage who lived in India 1879-1950. Here is one of his sayings (from The Essential Teachings of Ramana Maharshi: A Visual Journey, Edited by Matthew Greenblatt, InnerDirections Publishing, 2003.):

“The cause of misery is not in life without; it is within you as the ego. You impose limitations on yourself and then make a vain struggle to transcend them. Why attribute to the happenings in life the cause of misery, which really lies within you? What happiness can you get from anything extraneous to yourself? When you get it, how long will it last?”

~ My current self-coaching mantra is this: “The only true Bliss channel is inside. Tune in to that frequency, and walk alone with enthusiasm and gratitude.”

May you enjoy the playground of your life. May much Bliss arise within you each day.

May all beings know the Bliss of lasting Peace and Happiness within themselves.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

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The Tejaswini Playground Press

Photo by Ashley Marie - CC license

We create our realities with our thoughts. Cultivating the witness, that part of our minds that objectively watches everything we are, allows us to clearly see all of our thoughts. Through the power of watching our thoughts, we gradually change the way we perceive the world. We shift from viewing the world as a serious court of justice to seeing this universe as a joyous playground. Like gleeful children, we get to play and celebrate during this lifetime we've been given. On the playground we enjoy ourselves fully, even if sometimes we scrape our knees or get our hearts broken! No matter what pains we go through, we can't let the heartbreaks keep us from opening up and having a good time on the playground.

Here is a bit of news from the fun I'm having lately on the Tejaswini Playground ~

~ Recently I have been feeling super grateful for the following themes that are arising in my life: I am feeling totally orchestrated by the Universe… I am delighting in how life is magically unfolding… I am feeling Held by Something Greater… I am noticing much more progress in releasing expectations and attachments.

~ My boys are now 10 and 12, and I am enjoying them more than ever. They are so sharp and worldly, yet still so innocent. I am falling in love with them again and again, and I feel incredible gratitude for this mothering journey. A few weeks ago I took them to see Alice in Wonderland. We all really liked the movie. Our favorite part was “I believe in 6 impossible things before breakfast.” What a great spiritual practice!

~ If you haven’t had the chance to read the articles on my blog, please check them out. You can sign up as a user if you’d like to post comments. We can create discussions that way… Some recent blog titles include: “Let us choose remembrance!,” “Parsley Musings,” “Happy Birthday to Hanuman!,” “Calling in Tranquility,” and “Let Us Choose Happiness.”

~ The weekly Radiance Rising Circles have become the highlight of my life. Recently we celebrated Hanuman’s Birthday (the Hindu monkey god who is a hero in the ancient Indian epic, the Ramayana), with stories, songs, and vegan chocolate cake. Then I attended Jai Uttal’s kirtan in Ashland and became inspired to try leading a chant myself… So, at the circle last night, I played my harmonium while leading a Sita-Ram chant. (Sita and Ram are the Divine Incarnation in the Ramayana. They represent the eternal union of the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine. Symbolically, Sita is the human soul united with its Beloved, who is Rama.) I really enjoyed leading the chant, and I was pleased when my friend Andy told me later that I sang in tune the whole time! That was a big deal for me since I grew up believing that I couldn’t sing… But now, I can sing! I am looking forward to learning more chants on the harmonium.

~ I am feeling inspired to lead more and more circles, in a variety of settings. I feel really called to teach meditation (and Reiki energy healing) in prisons, so I am exploring different ways to begin doing that karma yogini work.

~ The 1,000 copies of my new book (Radiance Rising: Spiritual Practices for Daily Living) arrived in the mail last week. Thanks to Gaelyn Larrick’s cover design and Bram Larrick’s interior design, the books are beautiful. It was amazing to hold them in my hands. Now it’s time to promote this book, which is available on my website store at www.yogini-bliss.com. On the website you can read excerpts from this pocket book.

~ Today I am preparing for my friend Pete’s visit… cleaning the cottage and cooking a pot of kitchari, which to me is like vegan comfort food. You can find the recipe on my website under “Tips from Tejaswini,” and I’ll also share it with you here:

Kitchari
Adapted from a friend’s recipe

Soak mung beans overnight (or 4 hour minimum)

Cook the following:

2 cups mung beans
4 cups water (may need more)
5-6 or more cloves garlic, chopped finely
big piece of ginger root, chopped finely
optional: big onion, chopped medium dice

Cook for 45 minutes or longer, until the mung beans start to fall apart.

Then combine with the following:

2 cups cooked rice (brown basmati or brown long grain)
½ cup tamari
½ cup extra virgin olive oil
2 Tablespoons cumin seed
1 ½ Tablespoons coriander powder
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon red chili flakes

Stir until blended – don’t over-stir.

Let sit for 45 minutes before serving.

With all of the above quantities, experiment to suite your tastes. You may like it more or less spicy.

Please buy organic whenever possible. It is better for your body and better for the environment. Happy Earth Day next week!

~ Currently I am reading a really great version of the Ramayana, called The Ramayana: A Modern Retelling of the Great Indian Epic, by Ramesh Menon. (North Point Press, New York, 2003.) In the introduction he writes, “More than anything else, reading the Ramayana brings the reader close to the noble, holy, and living spirit of Rama. Regardless of which religion one professes, or if one is an agnostic or an atheist, the touch of Rama’s spirit is a profound, healing contact.” He continues to say that reading the Ramayana purifies the soul. I have only read 80 pages of the 686 pages, and already I do feel that it is having a profound effect on my psyche and soul.

~ Last week I was greatly inspired by the Jai Uttal kirtan here in Ashland. He began the evening by saying, “Don’t try to feel spiritual. Just sing, and sing, and sing… sing from your heart, and then you will be filled with Spirit.” Singing is definitely what takes me to Bliss. May we all enjoy our paths to Bliss!

May you have a lot of fun on the playground of your life.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace), Yogini Tejaswini

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Today I woke up feeling exhausted like I had pulled a team of heavy horses through the sky on my back last night. Though I am usually a tea drinker, this morning I brewed a strong cup of coffee and sat down to read The Ramayana: A Modern Retelling of the Great Indian Epic, by Ramesh Menon. I am only 205 pages into this 686 page volume, and already I can honestly say that it is the best book I have ever read. After reading a section, I sat down to chant the 1,000 Names of the Divine Mother, a 45-minute chanting practice that I learned from Ammachi, that I do every Friday. Today this practice filled me with incredible Love and Bliss Shakti, and it renewed my inspiration for my creative work in the world.

So it is in this state of feeling really full of my true Self, in that deep place of the Heart, that I begin writing this blog entry, which is a continuation of the last blog post about the inside story on the Buzz for Bliss Campaign. (www.buzz-for-bliss.com) One week ago today my friend Pete and I conceived of the idea, and already more than 5,000 people have viewed my buzz cut video! (www.youtube.com/user/16Tejaswini)

The word is spreading fast and soon thousands of people will be getting their buzz cuts for bliss…

… But that is the story for a future blog. Today I will continue sharing my personal process since getting the buzz cut for bliss. I buzzed my hair to remind me to let go of attachments. Primarily, I was concerned about my attachment to Pete, my dear yogi friend who was visiting me for almost 3 weeks. After a really fun visit, the time came to take him to the airport, so he could fly to England to visit his family. Not knowing if or when we would see each other again, I cried as his plane flew away… But when I got home, I was fine for the rest of the day.

That evening, at the Radiance Rising Circle, I called in Gratitude to help me stay focused on the positive – gratitude for a great visit with Pete – rather than the negative – “poor me, he left.” The circle was particularly sweet that evening, with eleven of us sharing in a good discussion about how we navigate painful emotional states. One guy shared that he hadn’t thought about the spiritual process of expanding and contracting as a concept until he read about it in my new book, Radiance Rising: Spiritual Practices for Daily Living. (This pocket book is available on this website store in print and by e-book.) I then talked about the importance of cultivating the witness to help us remain detached throughout the ups and downs of our days and nights…

That night I went to sleep feeling inspired and fulfilled, so I wasn’t expecting to feel how I felt the next morning: I awoke feeling as though my body had been cut down the middle and someone had taken one half and put it on a plane headed for another part of the world… I sat in disbelief at how strange the remaining half of me felt… As I went through my morning routine, I felt numb and dazed, as though half of me was touring some distant galaxy, while the other half struggled to understand what was happening here and now.

At the time, I could not have explained it this well, but the Witness part of my mind was actively witnessing, and it was saying a few things to me, such as: “You are just adjusting to Pete leaving… that’s why you feel so strange. Just keep focusing your attention on God and on your work in the world.” I listened to that voice as I carried on with sitting still in meditation practice and chanting the Hanuman Chalisa and sipping hot tea while reading The Ramayana…

… But every time I tried to work on the computer (promoting the creative child we had birthed at the end of Pete’s visit: www.buzz-for-bliss.com), I felt worse and worse. Finally I realized that I needed to get away from the computer and the cottage (which were both reminding me of Pete’s visit)… I needed to bust out of my regular routine and do something else for a while…

… So I walked my buzzcut self (which still only felt half embodied), downtown, and took my half-self on a hike along the trail by the creek. The flowing, bubbling water combined with the heavy scent of the towering trees soothed my nerves, but still something felt wrong – very wrong.

So, I tuned in again to the Witness Consciousness, that part of my being that I have been actively cultivating for more than 6 ½ years… And, gratefully, the Witness gave me a fine little report:

“Your Consciousness is wide-open in Blissful Expansion, and your mind is doing really well. You are not creating suffering for yourself with negative thought patterns like you have repeatedly done in the past. What feels ‘wrong’ to you is not at the spirit or mental levels, but rather you are experiencing the pain of separation on a very physical, primal level. You are in the agony – physical agony – that a bird or other creature might experience when separated from their mate. This is an adjustment of screeching sorrow that you just have to go through – don’t try to run from it. Allow it, and give it plenty of space. Cry if tears come… Don’t judge yourself for feeling this way – this feeling is as natural as the birdsong of this planet. Allow yourself to feel, feel, and feel again. This too shall shift.”

Of course the tears flowed then, and they flowed on into the evening as I ate a nourishing vegan meal, repeated my mantra 108 times, sat in evening dhyana (meditation), and lay my head upon the pillow…

Earlier that day I had emailed Pete telling him about how strange I was feeling, and in his reply he had reminded me to be in Shiva Consciousness and to touch my head… That helped. Each time I touched my head and looked at my buzz cut in the mirror, I remembered my goal to release external attachments and to live in the internal Bliss of Union with Lord Shiva, the Hindu aspect of the Divine that represents Pure Consciousness.

The next day I awoke feeling somewhat better, but by afternoon the physical pain in my heart and gut propelled me to call my dear healer friend, Britt. She tuned in and agreed that I was doing well at the spirit and mental levels, but that I needed some help at the physical level. She said that I needed to clear Pete’s energy from my physical space. She instructed me to do the following exercise:

Sitting on my meditation cushion, I called in the spiritual help of Amma, Neem Karoli Baba, and the Reiki Guides. Then I visualized two bright red roses: one out in front of my heart chakra, and the other out in front of my solar plexus chakra – the two areas where I was experiencing seering energetic pain sensations. I put all of Pete’s energies that were in me out into those roses… then I took them outside and exploded them, letting them dissolve out into the sky and the clouds and beyond…

… Sitting again, I visualized two more bright red roses out in front of my heart and solar plexus chakras, and this time I called back all of my energies that were in Pete and put them in the roses as I pulled those roses into my heart and gut. Immediately I felt an energetic shift. What I had been experiencing as painful physical sensations (heart aching and gut feeling kicked) dissolved instantly, and the pain transmuted into feeling Blissful Union with Shiva. In that state of Remembrance, I placed a bright red dot bindi on my third eye, and doused my buzzed crown with Amma’s rose oil. I felt most grateful that my friend Britt had given me that simple yet potent exercise to do. It only took a few minutes, and it had a profound effect on my whole being.

Britt Magadini is available for psychic readings and energy healings. Her website will be live in a few days: www.wakingbeauties.com.

The following day I felt better, although I still had moments in which I experienced the pain of separation… But that is a natural part of the spiritual process of expanding and contracting. The more we engage in cultivating the witness, the easier this process becomes. I am so thrilled to see my progress and to experience the transformational power we can gain through the spiritual practice of cultivating the witness.

I know that my teacher Basil is proud of me as he shines Light upon me from some distant star. Oh, dear Basil, who I now call Yogi Shambho, I miss you as I type these words. Thank you for all that you taught me during those brief years we had together this lifetime.

May we all know the inner Bliss that comes from shedding our external attachments. Thank you, Pete, for showing up to help me learn more detachment. You’re a good yogi.

May all beings everywhere know the Bliss of Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

May Day photo of Pete & Teja by Howie Morningstar.

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