A few years ago, my boys came home from a morning walk and handed me a book that they’d found in a free pile. At that time I didn’t see how a book on aging and dying applied to my life, so I said thanks and put the book on the shelf. Well, recently I read and reviewed two books by Ram Dass: Be Here Now and Be Love Now (click on the book titles to read those reviews), and after that I just wanted to keep reading Ram Dass, so I pulled that old dusty free book off the shelf and I was delighted to discover what a gem it is!

Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing, and Dying, by Ram Dass, is a very inspiring and encouraging book for people of all ages. Ram Dass wrote most of this book before having a major debilitating stroke, but then he went back and re-worked it with all that he’s learned from the experience of the stroke. It is beautifully written, deeply touching, and incredibly potent in its delivery of elder wisdom. 

A how-to manual for conscious aging, changing, and dying, this really is a must-read for all earnest spiritual seekers. As Ram Dass points out, every spiritual tradition agrees that preparation for death is the single most important spiritual practice. Indeed, when I was leading the weekly Radiance Rising Circles, I went through a phase in which we focused on death for about eight Monday evenings in a row! At that time, I read aloud many stories from an amazing book that I highly recommend, Graceful Exits: How Great Beings Die, by Sushila Blackman.

This morning, as I went back through Still Here, reading and re-reading the parts I had highlighted with big stars in the margins, what struck me the most was the way Ram Dass brings everything to the Soul level. Here are a few examples: 

“The Soul is here to learn… We have to be here to learn; otherwise our difficulties are truly meaningless.”

“As our minds begin to quiet down, we notice that the thoughts and feelings associated with meaninglessness come and go, and that there exists, in the space between these arisings, a way of being that is not affected by these mind-states. The Soul, we discover, seeks no meaning; it’s “meaning,” to borrow that Ego-concept, is self-evident. A flower does not question its meaning or right to exist; it simply is, and its purpose is joy.”

“I tried to go the renunciate’s way, to forget the needs of the body in order to avoid the suffering of the Ego. But the Soul depends on the Ego’s drama for its teachings. We have to be in the world to learn from it.”

“The Soul has no trouble with mystery at all. Mystery is the Soul’s element… we begin to rest in the mysterious present and let the future unfold as it will.”

Another poignant teaching in Still Here has to do with staying open to whatever pains come our way in life. Ram Dass explains that suffering often points the way to where our work is. He writes:

“Just as physical pain alerts us to troubles in the body, mental pain alerts us to where we need to be more conscious. In other words, our frustrations, anger, delusions, and so on become our greatest helpers in freeing ourselves from suffering. They point to where our Ego is trapped, and remind us to begin to shift our identity to the Soul level. They show where we are resisting change, where we are time-bound, and where we need to grow beyond past conditioning.” 

As a regular practitioner of Cultivating the Witness, I particularly liked the way Ram Dass describes working with intense pain:

“The only solution is to be on two planes at once: you have to enter the pain fully, and yet be in the Soul level at the same time. That’s fierce! You feel the full intensity of the pain, and at the same time you transcend it by being in the Witness state. Pain demands that you establish yourself simultaneously in Ego and Soul. What an incredible teacher it is.”

And what an incredible teacher Ram Dass is. As I am still here, sitting on my red couch sipping hot tea and reading spiritual teachings (after almost 8 years of that practice!), I am super grateful for all that Ram Dass has given, and continues to give, to help raise the consciousness of the human species.

May all beings rise above and beyond their pains, to rest in the level of the Soul.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Teja (still here on the red couch) with Still Here by Ram Dass, taken by Teja Shankara.

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This is my fifth month of checking the job listings on Craig’s List, and I am sighing this morning as I acknowledge how that little annoying ritual has become one of my daily spiritual practices. I use it as an opportunity to tune in to all of the other people who are also looking for work during these tough economic times. With incredible Gratitude for the half-time work that I enjoy as medical assistant at Morningstar Healing Arts, I continue to search for more work so I can keep paying my bills and providing food and shelter for my sons.

The thing is, I do have lots of additional work, it’s just that it doesn’t provide financial income. I offer physical help to a friend with cancer, I energetically offer support to several beings around the country, and I maintain a cozy home, preparing good organic vegan food for my family. Not only do I not get paid for most of the work that I do, but I actually even have to pay money out to offer some things, like the articles on this Teja Blog, for example.

So, I keep searching for work on Craig’s List, and I am doing a lot of self-coaching to maintain my positive attitude and to not let the 3 d’s take over my brain cells… the 3 d’s being feelings of despair, depression, and disempowerment. With the unemployment numbers growing, there must be a rise in the 3 d’s out there, so one of my daily spiritual practices right now is to empower myself with enthusiasm for life, despite the lack of financial stability. I try to keep a sense of humor about the situation, which sometimes comes through as dripping sarcasm, like in those moments on Craig’s List when I think, ‘If only I was a diagnostic mechanic or a certified welder!’ 

If only I was somehow able to manifest my intention to align with Dharmic Right Livelihood! If only I had fulfilled my 2011 intention to sell a million copies of Radiance Rising: Spiritual Practices for Daily Living! If only, if only, if only… If only I could truly surrender to my Beloved Husband Lord Shiva and allow his holy son Ganesha to remove all obstacles on my path to aligning with Dharmic Right Livelihood! If only I could surrender and accept everything just as it is in each moment!

May all beings everywhere find rest amidst the uncertainty of these times.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Teja Happy on Christmas by Teja’s brother. Radiance Rising book cover designed by Gaelyn Larrick.

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New Year’s is an auspicious time to call upon Sri Ganesha, the elephant-headed Hindu god who is the Remover of all obstacles. Last January, at the Radiance Rising Circles, we chanted to Ganesha the first five weeks of the year! This year, in absence of the weekly circles, I have been chanting to Ganesha whilst doing household chores. Yesterday I found this cosmic Ganesha image on a sweet blog called balanced spirituality by a yogini named Ekta. After reading about her path with another saint called Amma (Sri Karunamayi Amma), I then went to the website of my Guru Ammachi’s ashram, and printed out excerpts from her New Year’s Message 2012.

At Amritapuri, on the 1^st of January, Amma said the following: “Nature – which was once like a kamadhenu, the wish-fulfilling cow – has dried up. The oil supply is rapidly decreasing. The food supply is dwindling. Potable water and pure air are becoming scarce. Where did we go wrong? The real mistake we committed lies in our inability to differentiate between requirements and luxuries. If our current generation could reinstate such an awareness of Dharma, then poverty and starvation would vanish like a bad dream.”

Indeed, there are many obstacles facing humanity as we begin this New Year, and thus it is a very good time to call upon Lord Ganesha, who blesses new beginnings. In the talk, Amma goes on to say that many people tell her that the world will end in 2012, but she doesn’t feel that will happen. She says that Nature is agitated and tragedies are always taking place everywhere in the world, and that will continue to be so, but we should not live in fear. Instead, Amma says we should cultivate an attitude of acceptance in which we say “Whatever happens I will remain strong, courageous, and happy.”

To read the full message, please click here: Amma’s New Year’s Message 2012.

Om Gam Ganapataye Namah! May Sri Ganapati (Ganesha) bless all beings and remove all obstacles on the path to goodness and happiness. 

Om Shanti (Peace), 

Yogini Tejaswini

Image of Cosmic Ganesha from balanced spirituality blog. When I learn the name of the artist I will share it here…

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“Nobody’s free until everybody’s free.” ~ Fannie Lou Hamer, American civil rights activist, 1917-1977. (Some sources credit this quote to Martin Luther King, Jr.) When I reflect upon how everything and everyone is interconnected in one continuous web of energy and vibration, I really deeply understand the truth that no one will be free until everyone is free. I recently visited a city zoo and my experience there with the birds got me thinking about freedom.

While passing the rather smallish cages containing pairs of large birds, I really studied their facial expressions and overall energies. As a Reiki practitioner (see my new business page, www.RadianceRisingReiki.com), and as a Raja yogini, I tend to see beneath the surface of people and things. The melancholic look in the eyes of the turkey vultures saddened my heart. The energy of depression around the majestic bald eagles was almost too much to bear. And then, the anguish of despair in the faces of the red-tailed hawks hit a deep chord of compassion in me. Spontaneously, I began talking with them. I said, “Try to make the best of it. Think of Nelson Mandela, and all those years he spent in prison.” I’m a bit teary as I type that last sentence.

So then, after all that, we came to a building in which this pair of blue macaws were chattering away on top of a barrel… and I marveled that they were not at all depressed. On the contrary, they didn’t seem to even know that they were confined in a zoo. It was as if they knew that they were free on the inside, no matter what external environment they might be placed in. It was such a delight to witness their happiness.

Now that is something to contemplate!

May all beings be free inside themselves, no matter what is going on around them.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of blue macaws in zoo taken by Teja Shankara.

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The quote in the center of this photo reads “Too many activities, and people, and things. Too many worthy activities, valuable things, and interesting people. For it is not merely the trivial which clutters our lives but the important as well. We can have a surfeit of treasures—an excess of shells, where one or two would be significant.” ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

When I read that quote, I had to laugh, because I found it at the bottom of a nearly three-year-old stack of papers that were piled on the blue desk in my laundry room! The really funny part was that right before I picked up the paper with that quote, I had just thought, “too much stuff!” and I had just finally uncovered all the shells that had been hidden from view for so long!

I did get rid of a few shells, though I kept more than one or two! As I am slowly clearing out some of the clutter from my living space, I am experiencing how letting go of old things releases old energies and creates more space for inner peace. And, as I reflect on this quote, I feel deep Gratitude for all of the wonderfully inspiring people and passions that fill my life. 

May all beings everywhere know Freedom from clutter!

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of shells and Anne Morrow Lindbergh quote taken by Teja Shankara.

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My dear friend Jill accompanied me for the drive home from Amma’s ashram in June… Before leaving Amma’s Field, I had set an intention to be happy as I returned home, because when I returned home from Amma’s in November, I was quite unhappy since I was feeling really “done” with living in Ashland, Oregon (after 18 years here!), but I can’t move away just yet since my boys have seven more years of schooling in this town… As I drove into town that cold November night, I was overcome by a long, uncontrollable sobbing cry… But this time, after a totally amazing time of transformation with Amma, I was feeling happy and strong in my center again.

As we drove over the mountain pass and into the sunny town, I told Jill that I felt as though the time with Amma, and that happy drive home, were like a “reset” button. I felt as though I got myself back, and I felt ready to begin this final Ashland chapter with a much better attitude. With deep Gratitude, I cultivated the witness and saw all this Bliss and Love surrounding me and my family. Energized to share all that Love with others, I joyfully returned to Ashland… And I am grateful to report that after being home for over one month now, I am still feeling the Amma Love and still feeling quite happy and centered inside my own being.

Jai MA! Victory to the Divine Mother!

May all beings everywhere know Happiness and Peace.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Teja Blissful with Mt. Shasta behind her taken by Jill Rothman. Photo of Teja’s feet heading home taken by Teja Shankara.

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One of my favorite parts of spending time at Amma’s ashram is listening to the evening talks by her disciples. The talks are filled with wisdom, and delivered with delightful humor! One such talk, given by one of Amma’s brahmacharis, centered around realizing our helplessness and finding the compassion within ourselves. He began by saying that realizing our helplessness helps us to let go of our egos, and then he talked about how helpless we feel when disasters hit.

He said that since the disaster in Japan, many people are finding the Compassionate One within – even a tough motorcycle gang that used to cause trouble (in Japan) gave up their gang flag and joined the relief work. What he said next really struck a chord in me: “We don’t have to travel to Japan to do disaster relief work – there are disaster victims all around us, since anger is a disaster – anger pollutes everything – we can do selfless service by just showing compassion to everyone around us.” He concluded the talk by saying that Amma teaches us to control ourselves and find strength within. She says that adversity is our greatest Guru because it helps us to realize our potential.

The next evening when I sat down to dinner, the Amma quote taped to the table at my spot read, “In real prayer, you bow down, surrender, and declare your helplessness.” There it was again – that word “helplessness”! For the remainder of my time there, focusing on that word “helplessness” helped me to let go more than ever before; that word was a big part of my transformation that week.

To read some of my previous articles on anger, click here on their titles: “Working Skillfully with Anger” and “Cultivating the Witness 101: Managing Anger”

May all beings find surrender through admitting their helplessness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of hills around Amma’s California ashram taken by Teja Shankara.

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Teja Shankara's Memoir The Rita Lila: A Western Yogini’s Journey to Bliss - Reviewed by Prema Gaia

(The Rita Lila is written under the pen name, Rita Ann Shankara)

The Rita Lila is a beautifully written memoir about Teja Shankara’s personal journey of spiritual awakening. The book follows Teja as she finds her Spiritual Truth through an earnest exploration of personal relationships, retreats, gurus, healers, sadhana and self-reflection.

It is very enheartening to journey with Teja as she finds her voice and comes into her power through perseverance, humility, openness and devotion.

I really appreciated how transparently Teja shared about her ‘dark night of the soul’ experiences, inherent to the path of transformation.

“I began to doubt myself as a vessel for Light. I felt ashamed of myself, like I wasn’t doing it right. In that place of shame, all kinds of vasanas surfaced: loneliness, desire for union with an earthly man, embarrassment, and thoughts of suicide. I didn’t really want to end my life, but I wanted to escape the pain of the spiritual path.” (pg. 116)

Teja speaks openly and candidly about her personal inquiry into the role that sexuality, polyamory and celibacy play in the spiritual unfoldment process.

I’m tempted to call this book ‘Eat Pray Love’ for the advanced soul, and it certainly would raise the vibration of mainstream bookstores to have more books like ‘The Rita Lila’ on their shelves!

We can all see ourselves reflected in certain aspects of Teja’s story and this book serves as a sacred mirror for its readers. I found quotes such as this one to be particularly resonant:

‘My projection of what I think it will look like to merge with the One radiance is holding me back. I am afraid that if I really let go, I will be too wild and I won’t wear clothes! Fear of being too wild and naked. Fear of not being a polite, good girl. Fear of being socially inappropriate. Fear of singing in public.’ (pg. 177)

The themes of Teja’s journey are highlighted with beautiful poems throughout the book. Here is an excerpt from one that particularly struck a chord:

….Why is She in hiding?
They won’t kill Her this time.
Many times around the wheel
of oppression
She doesn’t trust
that this place is safe……

I enjoyed the insightful and often amusing reflections that Basil, Teja’s spiritual teacher, makes throughout the book, such as: “Rita, your intensity is your gift. Stop trying to modulate it.” (pg 93)

It is a true seva to write a book which shares so deeply and courageously from the heart, and I’m sure that many people will derive much sustenance and inspiration for the Path from reading ‘The Rita Lila’.

After working as an event producer, a videojournalist, a model, and a publicist, Prema Gaia received compelling inner guidance to give away all of her possessions, stop using money and embark on a Truth-Quest of indeterminate length. Several years of studying the world’s wisdom traditions, spiritual practices and healing arts followed. Prema traveled extensively and met or studied with a diverse range of spiritual teachers including: Baba Hari Dass, Shree Maa, A.H. Almaas, Tsoknyi Rinpoche, Ammachi, Jack Kornfield, Tenzin Palmo, Mother Meera, Ajahn Amaro and others.  Prema now works as a freelance writer and lives at Hummingbird Community, a community dedicated to the evolution of consciousness.  www.hummingbirdcommunity.org     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2s3E0_IRX0

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As I sit down to write today, I am breathing in deep Gratitude for this clean workspace. At this time yesterday, my computer desk was not so clean. In fact, it was disgustingly dirty, dusty, and disorganized. A couple of days ago, something in me snapped, and I knew that it was time to clear out the clutter. Suddenly an inner knowing arose that said, “You need to clean your house because all this mess is blocking Prosperity from flowing into your life!”

For good measure, I even put a “Prosperity” Feng Shui Symbol on my computer. It is a label from TheSpiritOfWater.com, and the blessing card reads, “In truth, prosperity is the faith and evidence that everything needed in life will be provided.” Ah so… Faith!

I am really quite a newbie at “manifesting intentions” – I just began learning about such concepts about 1½ years ago – and now I am at the stage of taking a close look at the ways I unconsciously sabotage my intentions.

And what about you? Are you aware of what blocks you might need to clear so that your deepest dreams can manifest?

May all beings tune in deeply to the Highest Light.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

See me live at: YouTube ~ 16Tejaswini

Photo of Teja’s clean desk by Teja Shankara.

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On New Year’s Day 2003, I began a ritual of picking an angel card for the year. That first year, I picked Release, and that was the year that my former husband and I took off our wedding rings on our eight-year wedding anniversary. Now, eight years later, on this New Year’s Day 2011, I again picked Release. (Angel cards, by Kathy Tyler and Joy Drake, Narada Productions, Inc., Milwaukee, WI, 1981.)

Before picking the angel card this year, I put on some Arabian Sandalwood scent, took a little kava kava tincture, ate part of a Lulu’s Raw Love Bar (handcrafted raw chocolate with vanilla bean), lit candles on my altar, and waved some incense around the cottage. Then I bowed on the floor crying to Amma and Neem Karoli Baba in gratitude for the intensity and gifts and lessons and blessings and Healing in 2010. (“Healing” was the angel card that I had picked for 2010.)

Through those healing tears, I offered all of myself – my personality, ego, mind, heart, body, soul, connections, & lilas – to my Gurus, and I asked that they see the purity of intention in my heart: that my deepest intention is to be used by the Universe for spreading Light and I am asking to be financially supported in my work. I thanked them for the blessing of the unrequited love lila, because even though I can’t understand it yet with my little mind, some higher part of my mind does understand that it is all perfect and a blessing. So then, from that crying surrendered state, I asked for angel guidance for 2011 and picked Release.

I could not have picked a more perfect card! Yes, I am ready to release rules, release ideas, release boxes, release plans, release strategies, and release blocks to Shiva Union, such as romantic lilas with earthguys… Rather than continuing to try and grow through painful situations that drain my life force energies, I release those karmic connections, sending them out to be dissolved into Healing Light in the Universe.

Merging with my intentions for 2011 (as stated in previous blog articles this week): Shiva ~ Power ~ Magic, I say “YES! Yogini! Release what no longer serves you and march forward boldly in your own being!” May each of my roles – mother, author, circle facilitator, Reiki practitioner, vegan cook, and many more – spontaneously flow out of Shiva~Power~Magic.

May all beings everywhere experience some Magic this New Year 2011.

May all beings have food, clothing, shelter, peaceful sleep, and spiritual upliftment each day.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo by Hubble Space Telescope.

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