On New Year’s Day 2003, I began a ritual of picking an angel card for the year. That first year, I picked Release, and that was the year that my former husband and I took off our wedding rings on our eight-year wedding anniversary. Now, eight years later, on this New Year’s Day 2011, I again picked Release. (Angel cards, by Kathy Tyler and Joy Drake, Narada Productions, Inc., Milwaukee, WI, 1981.)

Before picking the angel card this year, I put on some Arabian Sandalwood scent, took a little kava kava tincture, ate part of a Lulu’s Raw Love Bar (handcrafted raw chocolate with vanilla bean), lit candles on my altar, and waved some incense around the cottage. Then I bowed on the floor crying to Amma and Neem Karoli Baba in gratitude for the intensity and gifts and lessons and blessings and Healing in 2010. (“Healing” was the angel card that I had picked for 2010.)

Through those healing tears, I offered all of myself – my personality, ego, mind, heart, body, soul, connections, & lilas – to my Gurus, and I asked that they see the purity of intention in my heart: that my deepest intention is to be used by the Universe for spreading Light and I am asking to be financially supported in my work. I thanked them for the blessing of the unrequited love lila, because even though I can’t understand it yet with my little mind, some higher part of my mind does understand that it is all perfect and a blessing. So then, from that crying surrendered state, I asked for angel guidance for 2011 and picked Release.

I could not have picked a more perfect card! Yes, I am ready to release rules, release ideas, release boxes, release plans, release strategies, and release blocks to Shiva Union, such as romantic lilas with earthguys… Rather than continuing to try and grow through painful situations that drain my life force energies, I release those karmic connections, sending them out to be dissolved into Healing Light in the Universe.

Merging with my intentions for 2011 (as stated in previous blog articles this week): Shiva ~ Power ~ Magic, I say “YES! Yogini! Release what no longer serves you and march forward boldly in your own being!” May each of my roles – mother, author, circle facilitator, Reiki practitioner, vegan cook, and many more – spontaneously flow out of Shiva~Power~Magic.

May all beings everywhere experience some Magic this New Year 2011.

May all beings have food, clothing, shelter, peaceful sleep, and spiritual upliftment each day.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo by Hubble Space Telescope.

Comment (0)

This is a  follow-up article to "Sitting in the Lap of Santa-ji" (blog article posted December 21st)... Tonight after Christmas Eve dinner, I lit the candles and my younger son placed the fig cookies and veganog on the table next to the boys' stockings. I teasingly said, "Om Sri Santa-ji Namaha," so then, jokingly and quite spontaneously, my son knelt down and put his hands in prayer. He proceeded to say some prayers that showed he has been paying attention to all of the spiritual practices I do each day. Even though he was joking around, I could tell that he is learning something from being immersed in my world of sadhana (spiritual practices). While he prayed, I snapped photos, and this one here, of him bowing before the "altar" really touches my heart. May it also touch your heart.

May all beings everywhere be touched by the Love that is our True Nature.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo by Teja Shankara.

Comment (4)

This year my younger son has taken a renewed interest in Santa Claus. When he first brought it up, I thought that he was joking, but then he kept asking in such a way that I began to realize that he is wishing he could believe in Santa again. At the Festival of Trees, he asked me to take a photo of him sitting in Santa’s lap, and now he’s even threatening to stay up late on Christmas Eve with video cameras in place! Ay, what is a yogini-mama to do?

Well, I did what I naturally do throughout my life now: I seized the opportunity to give a Yogic teaching! So when he asked why Santa brings such expensive gifts to his friends and not to him, I explained, “Santa-ji is One with the Pure Love Energy of the Universe, so He follows the Universal Laws of Karma and Destiny… So, therefore, he can’t bring expensive gifts to children who have chosen to be in poor families.” Not very amused or satisfied with my answer, he continued to question and I continued to answer with Yogic philosophy. It was so touching to witness the sincerity of the longing in his ten-year-old heart.

Later I reflected on the longing in my own heart. If I am sitting in the Lap of Santa-ji, what is it that my heart really desires? Again and again, my answer is the same. I am longing to spread the Light as a cheerleader for spiritual practices, and I’m ready for the Universe to support my work financially. I don’t need a lot of money – I live very simply – and if I do make a lot of money, I will give most of it away to Amma! I work for God; God is my boss! I visualize myself financially supported in my Light-spreading work.

And you? As you are sitting in the Lap of Santa-ji, what is the deepest desire in your heart?

May all beings everywhere be filled with the Light of Pure Love this Solstice Day.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of ornaments by Teja Shankara.

Comment (7)

Today is my Grandma’s 96^th birthday. I celebrate her birth and I joyfully acknowledge all the wonderful ways she has enriched my life with her humor, enthusiasm, brightness, and love. I attribute my positive attitude and cheerfulness to her example and guidance.

A few months ago, I had a dream that something intense would happen on October 10^th. The next day, as I reflected on the dream, I realized that the date to look for intensities would be 10-10-10… So when that date arrived, I watched for intensities, but nothing happened… or so I thought. Then, a few days later, I received an email from my parents saying that my Grandma had fallen down on 10-10-10. She didn’t break any bones, but she injured her hip and had to be in a wheelchair for a few weeks, which required family members to stay with her around the clock.

During that time, I began focusing on death at the Monday evening Radiance Rising Circles. I gave a writing assignment on the topic, and it was very touching to hear what people wrote about death.

Inspired by a dream I had, in which my Grandma was holding me, I wrote and shared the following poem with the circle:

held in warm embrace
by living grandmother.
resting in deep love
yet witnessing underlying fear –
what if she dies this night
and i awaken
in the cold arms of death?

as her soul reaches mine
through dream space,
i realize i am more
afraid of her death
than my own –
what would death be for me
when it’s All Shiva, here or there….

but when she leaves
i won’t hear her living voice anymore
and I will have to once again
endure the grief
of parting.

Tejaswini says have faith!
Kali will cut through
all these attachments
and Shiva will burn them
to ashes.

I often talk with my sons (ages 10 and 13) about the delicate balance between really, really, really loving people, places, and things, AND not being too attached to those people, places, and things. As I celebrate my Grandma’s birth and life, I also witness myself fearing her death. There is such a bittersweet beauty here on this earth.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Teja in park by Teja Shankara.

Comment (2)

Photo by Ashley Marie - CC license

We create our realities with our thoughts. Cultivating the witness, that part of our minds that objectively watches everything we are, allows us to clearly see all of our thoughts. Through the power of watching our thoughts, we gradually change the way we perceive the world. We shift from viewing the world as a serious court of justice to seeing this universe as a joyous playground. Like gleeful children, we get to play and celebrate during this lifetime we've been given. On the playground we enjoy ourselves fully, even if sometimes we scrape our knees or get our hearts broken! No matter what pains we go through, we can't let the heartbreaks keep us from opening up and having a good time on the playground.

Here is a bit of news from the fun I'm having lately on the Tejaswini Playground ~

~ I continue to enjoy creating all kinds of vegan food combinations. This morning I heated up some leftover rice (long grain brown rice and wild rice), along with some walnuts, raisins, and dried cranberries. Then I stirred in some raw cacao nibs, cinnamon, and two potent powders by HealthForce Nutritionals: Vitamineral Green and MacaForce.  As I ate that incredibly delicious bowl of nourishment, I felt deep gratitude for all the organic vegan food that supports my temple body.

~ Even though I’ve still experienced some romantic-lila-related-sorrow in my being (despite continually focusing on my brahmacharya vow), the overall theme emerging in my life this past month has been one of gratitude, praise, and celebration. One day I ran into a woman who had attended the Radiance Rising Circle the night before, and she said, “So you’re a healer and a praiser?” I loved that so much – I hadn’t thought of myself as a “praiser” before, but indeed that is a large part of who I am.

~ Albert Einstein said, “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” I understand that the sorrow states that pass through my being are caused by an attachment to a certain person, so I am now consciously focusing my attention (again and again) on my goals for life. To that end, I wrote out the following intentions: attitude of Gratitude; positive thinking; enthusiasm; merging in Union with Lord Shiva; and serving others. Union with Shiva represents detachment and the Pure Bliss gained through detachment.  Anandamayi Ma, Blissful mystic and sage of India (1896-1982), describes the process of merging with Shiva in this way:

“Shiva, the Eternal Spirit, has resolved Himself into jivas, sentient beings, and every creature has to become reconverted again into Shiva. Just as water freezes into ice, and ice melts into water, so this play of transformation of Shiva into jiva and jiva into Shiva goes on and on through eternity.”  (Women of Power and Grace: Nine Astonishing, Inspiring Luminaries of Our Time, by Timothy Conway, Ph.D., the Wake Up Press, Santa Barbara, CA, 1995.)

~ As I am slowly building my Reiki energy healing practice (www.ashlandholistichealth.com), I have had the opportunity to enjoy some trades with other practitioners. One such trade was with a very gifted Tarot Card reader. Through the reading I received guidance to remember that everything serves Spirit and all energies are workable. One of the cards indicated that I should become the Master Alchemist and work with the energies associated with my current life situation.

~ A few weeks ago a brief stomach flu passed through my body. I went for acupuncture, and during the session a new mantra/affirmation/intention arose in me: “I am happy and healthy, and I WANT GOD!”

~ That affirmation echoed the little mantra that was buzzing in my head during the Radiance Rising Circle on Ammachi’s 57^th birthday: “I want to sit in circles with people singing to God until I die!” Here is one of my favorite quotes from Amma, the Hugging Saint from India, who is a Guru to millions of people (including me): “Life should blossom into total laughter. This is religion. This is spirituality. This is real prayer. God is the innocent, spontaneous smile that blossoms from within.” (Lead Us to Purity: A Selection of Sri Mata Amritanandamayi’s Speeches, 1990-1999, Compiled by Swami Jnanamritananda, M.A. Center, San Ramon, CA, 2007.)

~ At the weekly Radiance Rising Circles, my natural smile blossoms from within. The week after we celebrated Amma’s birthday, we honored the birthday of Mahatma Gandhi. I had already celebrated Gandhi-ji’s birthday at a fire circle on his actual birthday, but since I love birthdays, I brought his photo (with curly ribbons attached) to the Radiance Rising Circle too. In his honor we chanted to Sita and Ram, and sometimes I substituted, “Be the Change You Wanna See, Jai Jai Ram,” for the traditional Rama mantra, “Sri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram” (Victory to Lord Rama).

~ For more detailed musings about many of my life happenings, please follow this Teja Blog. Recent blog article titles include: “My Vegan Tempeh Dinner,” “An Abundance of Gratitude,” “Grounded at the Root,” “The Story of a Blessing Way Circle,” “Happy Birthday to Ammachi and to Gandhi-ji!,” “Vegan Risotto,” and “Nourished by the Light of the Divine Mother.”

~ Regular, daily spiritual practices continue to nourish and strengthen me. Through sitting in silent meditation morning and evening, and through cultivating the Witness, working with the chakras, chanting (singing) devotional songs, studying spiritual teachings, and serving others, I raise my vibration and strengthen my core. I feel so inspired to share these practices with others, because they have helped me so much on my journey.

~ In high school I was a cheerleader, and those cheerleading qualities of enthusiasm and passion still live in me. Now, instead of cheering for the Tigers to win the basketball game, I’m cheering for people to open their hearts through doing regular spiritual practices. That is why I wrote Radiance Rising: Spiritual Practices for Daily Living. In this easy-to-read pocketbook, I give basic instructions for beginning a meditation practice, and I outline the other practices that I do on the Raja Yoga Path. This book would make a great holiday gift for yourself and for many of your friends and family, so I recently put it on sale at half-price, through December 16^th, 2010. Please go to thhis website store to order your copies today! (Please note that 10% of every sale and donation on my website goes to Amma’s charitable organizations. www.amma.org)

~ A few nights ago, I attended an amazing event with renowned storyteller, author and mythologist, Michael Meade. Since he was promoting his new book, Fate and Destiny: The Two Agreements of the Soul, his dynamic presentation centered around fate and destiny. He explained that we are each born seeded with a destiny, and that destiny is hidden within the challenges of our fate. Through colorful storytelling, he imparted the message that we each have a responsibility to discover who we truly are and what gifts we have to give to the world. He ended the beautiful and inspiring evening with Rumi’s poem “Each Note.” Here is my favorite part of that poem:

God picks up the reed-flute world and blows.
Each note is a need coming through one of us,
a passion, a longing-pain.

Remember the lips
where the wind-breath originated,
and let your note be clear.
Don’t try to end it.
BE Your Note.
I’ll show you how it’s enough.

Go up on the roof at night
in the city of the soul.

Let Everyone climb on their roofs
and sing their notes!

Sing loud!

~ This autumn has been a particularly busy time for this yogini, because my two sons (ages 10 and 13) are now involved in sports and musical instruments, along with all the school stuff. The past few weeks I witnessed myself going through a cute little cycle of overwhelm, so this weekend I took a lot of time alone to remember that I am not the doer, and I am not in charge of time! Since last night was the final night of the 9-night Hindu festival, Navarathri, that honors Shakti, the Divine Feminine, I sat down with my harmonium and chanted to Kali Ma, the most fierce Hindu aspect of the Divine Mother. Kali represents Time, and She helps to conquer the illusions of the ego, such as me thinking that I’m really in control of time here! Again and again, I surrender my little will to the Divine Will.

May you enjoy the playground of your life.

May all beings have food, clothing, shelter, and spiritual upliftment each day.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini 

Photos of Teja’s table and autumn tree by Teja Shankara. Photo of Teja in the creek by Vivek.

Comment (0)

Last weekend I attended a Blessing Way Circle for a friend who will be thirteen years old soon. The invitation had asked us to bring the gift of a single flower, along with words of wisdom and blessings for her future. That morning I walked downtown in the glorious autumn sunshine, stopped by the flower shop, and breathed in gratitude as I hiked along the flowing creek up to the gathering. On the trail, it was wonderful to watch people’s faces light up when they saw the big bright dahlia in my hand. Several people commented on how beautiful it was, and their joy increased my own.

I thought of the words that I had written down to give my friend, and I reflected on how beautiful it was that all of the women who were heading there were bringing words of wisdom from their own life constellations that were unique to them in that moment. I delighted in the passage of time and all of the changes it brings.

After gathering on blankets under some magnificent green trees, we sat in a sacred circle. Holding hands, we invited the spirits of our women ancestors to join us. A candle was lit, and the mother showered blessings on her daughter who will soon emerge from childhood to womanhood. Then we each offered our blessings along with our flowers. Here is what I said to her:

“I celebrate your birth and I offer this intention for your life: That you may be a master of the art of balance between REALLY loving people, places, and things, and not getting attached to those external people, places, and things…. So that you can stay centered in the Bliss of your own Being – so that you always know and love who YOU are! Blessings on being YOU!”

Several of the women echoed my own feelings when they noted how most of us women did not have blessingway ceremonies when we were young, and so attending these circles for the younger generation is a gift for us because it honors that place in ourselves. We all felt so honored and so grateful to be there in that circle.

Towards the end of the circle, one woman shared that any woman (and I would add that the same goes for any man) can call a circle for herself any time she needs to. I love that. I’m visualizing a world in which sacred circles are called regularly in abundance!

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of dahlia in hand by Teja Shankara.

Comment (0)

Cultivating gratitude is such an important spiritual practice. The next time you feel funky or sad, tune in to all of the things that you are grateful for, and see if that helps to transform your state. Lately I’ve seen the phrase “attitude of gratitude,” and I think that is a wonderful intention for life.

Today I am feeling incredible Gratitude for so many things. A few examples from my gratitude list: this cup of hot banch tea with maple syrup that I’m sipping as I type, the new flower clip I’m wearing in my headband (from Cute as a Button Design), the sun shining on the pine tree outside, the Reiki energy healings that I gave this morning, my bright sons, and the abundance of produce I bought at the farmers’ market yesterday. I could go on and on and on and on, and… ON!

From this state of gratitude I plan to pour pure organic pomegranate juice for my sons and me tonight, so we can raise our glasses high at the Fall Equinox at 8:08pm (PST). And while we sleep tonight, the Harvest Moon will bless this land with its Light.

I also give thanks today for all of you who read this Teja Blog. I write these articles with the intention to spread Light. Recently several people have expressed their gratitude for this blog, and for that I bow down with Gratitude.

Happy Harvest Moon to you all.

May all beings everywhere have food to eat each day.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photos of Fall Abundance and Autumn Teja by Teja Shankara.

Comment (2)

Each week I pick an angel card, and it is amazing how often the quality fits exactly with what I’m going through that week. Take this week, for example. I am working to release a very big pattern from my life, consciously focusing on breathing and releasing… and I picked “Release”!  (Angel cards, by Kathy Tyler and Joy Drake, Narada Productions, Inc., Milwaukee, WI, 1981.)

After twenty years of trying unsuccessfully to get what I want from the Universe (in the way of a perfect Sita-Ram union with an earthly man), I’ve decided to lay down the “dream” and be free of the disappointments I inevitably experience at every turn. I am intending to finally release the last bits of the addictive love pattern that I wrote about in my memoir, The Rita Lila: A Western Yogini’s Journey to Bliss, by my pen name, Rita Ann Shankara. Rather than continuing this madness of seeking the union with someone outside of myself, I have decided to renounce the search altogether and relax into the inner Union with my beloved husband, Lord Shiva.

My dear friend Thomas does not believe me, and he is encouraging me to take a neutral stance on this matter. While I appreciate his feedback, I have recently become aware that if I continue to allow myself to indulge in these lilas with the masculine, I will most likely not be celebrating too many more birthdays! The strain of the intensity of grief from this past year alone has taken its toll, and my body is telling me clearly – through shouting methods – that it’s time to stop this pattern.

I do understand the value in finding a nonattached, neutral attitude on the matter, so I will intend to reach that state soon. For now though, I release all expectations and griefs that I’ve put onto any forms of the masculine, and I endeavor to walk alone… with deep breathing… and lots of laughing.

I am feeling incredible freedom already. From this healing process of release, I am experiencing a warm, radiant self-love that is tingling throughout my cells. 

Release, release, release!

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of yellow rose and release card by Teja Shankara.

Comment (0)

The Tejaswini Playground Press

Photo by Ashley Marie - CC license

We create our realities with our thoughts. Cultivating the witness, that part of our minds that objectively watches everything we are, allows us to clearly see all of our thoughts. Through the power of watching our thoughts, we gradually change the way we perceive the world. We shift from viewing the world as a serious court of justice to seeing this universe as a joyous playground. Like gleeful children, we get to play and celebrate during this lifetime we've been given. On the playground we enjoy ourselves fully, even if sometimes we scrape our knees or get our hearts broken! No matter what pains we go through, we can't let the heartbreaks keep us from opening up and having a good time on the playground.

Here is a bit of news from the fun I'm having lately on the Tejaswini Playground ~

~ Well, I’ve been having so much fun that I’m way behind on sending out this June newsletter! So much has happened since I last wrote on May 14^th. In this newsletter I will share the highlights and then I’ll write more in depth about it all in a series of blog posts. Speaking of the Teja Blog, I am now posting these monthly newsletters on the blog as a way to share them with more people and also as a way to archive them on-line.

~ The first week of June I attended a training in San Rafael through the Insight Prison Project. We learned a curriculum to use when facilitating groups of offenders and victims, and we spent a whole day inside San Quentin Prison. Watch for a blog about this experience. It was totally inspiring!

~ When the prison training ended I headed to see Ammachi for a few days. Amma tours the U.S. twice each year, and her main center is in Castro Valley, just outside of San Ramon, California. (www.amma.org) This was one of my most potent and memorable experiences with Amma. I will be writing more about it on the Teja Blog soon. The highlight was Amma giving me an apple!

~ While at Amma’s ashram, I meditated on a health issue, and received guidance to see Dr. Paul Romanoff, a chiropractor who offers sessions at the ashram when Amma is there. The healing sessions with him were amazing, and he recommended that I continue the healing process in Ashland with Dr. Mike Young, a local chiropractor. For the past two weeks my focus has been on healing at the physical level: spending lots of time in the sunshine, breathing, and releasing a charge of energy that I’ve held inside for a while now. I feel super grateful for this healing journey of release.

~ While gone on my trip south, I really missed the weekly Radiance Rising Circles, and I was so happy to return to them! One of the attendees said that he felt like mommy was back! I said it must’ve been Amma coming through me. :)

~ I’m still reading The Ramayana: A Modern Retelling of the Great Indian Epic, by Ramesh Menon. I’m on page 458 of 686 pages, and I’ve been immersed in the gory stories of the war for a while now… 65 more pages of the war to go, and I am really ready to be through with that part! I am noticing my discomfort with conflict and with violence in general, and reading through it anyway. They say that reading or hearing the Ramayana purifies and cleanses the soul, and I am definitely experiencing that. What a blessing.

~ Here is one of my favorite quotes that I heard Amma say this time:

Be like flowers – flowers have so many good qualities, and they have no pride and no ego.

~ July 21-26, I will be offering workshops at the Mystic Garden Party in Corning, California. See my listing under the Devotional Dome at this link: http://mysticgardenparty.com/workshops/all-bios/

~ Lastly, if you haven’t yet seen the hilarious videos of my friend Pete and I giving each other  buzz cuts, be sure to treat yourself to that entertainment soon! www.buzz-for-bliss.com

May you enjoy the spicy summer playground of your life.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Comment (0)

A few months ago a friend gave me a small deck of cards that contain some of Ammachi’s teachings. The idea is to pick one card for each day, though I have just been picking one every few days. For some reason (hmmm…), I have picked this card many times:

"Today, I practice offering myself to God,
surrendering without asking, demanding, or suggesting."

At the beginning of last week, I had picked that card and left it out on the table for several days. Then one morning I put the card back in the deck, shuffled, and picked it again! At that point even my rational mind surrendered and I said out loud, “Okay, Amma, I get it!”

That little card has put me through a major transformation process. One month ago I still had a “plan” even though I know we really shouldn’t have a plan. At that point, I was still telling God how I wanted the Universe to unfold things through me. But then, all of a sudden, I noticed that I had completely let go of worrying about my To Do list, and I searched inside and could not find my “plan”… where had it gone? I looked at that quote again:

"Today, I practice offering myself to God,
surrendering without asking, demanding, or suggesting."

I realized that I had finally understood what it means to not even suggest to God what we want to happen. When we let go of even suggesting, then we find ourselves in a more surrendered state, in which we can authentically chant the “i don’t know” mantra. After repeating “i don’t know” over and over, we can then go deep inside and allow our inner teacher to give us a true knowingness. The knowingness that arises from the depths of our beings is really different from the knowingness that we think we have when we are making all of our grand plans with our little monkey minds.

I love it when a spiritual teaching manifests in my daily life like this. After all, that is the whole point of being on a spiritual path: to gradually learn to actually live the wisdom of the teachings.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of  Orange Flower by Oneras – CC license

Comment (0)