The Name Rama (also called Ram) has been very special to me for several years. I can’t remember exactly when my Guru, Sri Sri Sri Neem Karoli Baba-ji found me, but I’m guessing it was almost six years ago. Neem Karoli Baba left his body in 1973, when I was three years old, living on a farm in Indiana, so I did not meet him in person. Rather, he came to me in dreams, and I read many books about him. I have also experienced his Presence through the kirtan artists who did spend time with Maharaj-ji in India: Krishna Das, Jai Uttal, and Bhagavan Das. I consider those three to be my spiritual brothers, and I bow to each of them with immense gratitude for the potent and transformative healing chants that they share with the world.

Since my association with Neem Karoli Baba began, I have felt strongly drawn to Rama, Sita, and Hanuman, the main characters of The Ramayana, the famous epic tale that was channeled in ancient India by the Sanskrit poet-sage Valmiki.

About five years ago, I read a short, sweet version of The Ramayana, which was kind of like reading the CliffsNotes. I recommend this book for those who just want to hear the basic story and see the beautiful illustrations by B.G. Sharma. Written by Ranchor Prime, it is entitled The Ramayana: A Tale of Gods and Demons (Mandala Publishing, San Rafael, CA, 2001, 2004).

In the spring of 2009, I was blessed to attend a weekend kirtan retreat with Jai Uttal (and tablas player Daniel Paul) at Breitenbush Hotsprings. Each evening, Jai told us stories from The Ramayana, adding his hilarious modern-day touches along the way. Inspired by his fabulous storytelling, and hungry to dive deeper into the ancient tale, I asked him which version to read next. He suggested The Ramayana: A Modern Retelling of the Great Indian Epic by Ramesh Menon (North Point Press, New York, 2001, 2003).

A few months ago I began reading that version, and I carried the book with me in June when I went to see Ammachi at her ashram near San Ramon, California. One morning there, while watching Amma give hugs, a young man sitting behind me spotted my book, and he struck up a conversation with me. He lives in America now, but he grew up in India, and his parents still live in India. He was curious to know what I thought about Rama sending Sita away in the last book of The Ramayana. I said that I hadn’t gotten to that part yet in this version, but I was familiar with the storyline, and I just accepted it. He said that he believes it is important, as spiritual seekers, to question everything, including Rama’s actions. He said that when he asked his mother about why Rama sent Sita away, she said that Rama did what he had to do in his role as a king ten thousand years ago. (Give or take a few thousand years.) At the time, I didn’t feel any conflict within myself about Rama’s actions.

About a week after returning home from Amma’s, my boys and I watched the very creative film Sita Sings the Blues, made by American artist Nina Paley. (Click on the film title here to view the movie on YouTube.) I very much enjoyed this comical version of The Ramayana, and I still did not feel any question about the love for Rama inside my heart.

But then I came to certain parts in Ramesh Menon’s Ramayana, and suddenly I began to feel some discomfort with certain things that Rama said and did. I am not sure if these parts are true to the original Valmiki Ramayana, or if they are influenced by Ramesh Menon’s interpretation, but I will share them here because they are the cause of my current issues with Rama.

The part of me that is uncomfortable with conflict just wants to resolve this as quickly as possible. That part of me says, “It is just your ego talking – how can you, with your limited state of mind, question Rama, a Divine Incarnation?” That part of me believes that Neem Karoli Baba-ji and Gandh-ji had total devotion to Rama for good reasons, and so, based on their Love of Rama, I could also just keep loving Rama with total devotion. But then I remember what the young man said to me at Amma’s. He said that when issues come up for us, even issues with God, we can’t just trust what others say – even what the saints say – but rather, we have to resolve the issues within our own hearts.

So now I will outline my issues with Rama, with quotes from Ramesh Menon's Ramayana. I welcome feedback on these points.

After the demon king Ravana kidnaps Rama’s wife Sita, Rama grieves the loss of his beloved. His grief is almost unbearable, and were it not for the support and encouragement of his brother, Lakshmana, Rama might have perished from the grief. Before I took the brahmacharya celibacy vow one month ago, I found Rama’s grief to be charming, as I could totally relate to the deep sorrow involved in that longing for union. However, since taking the vow of brahmacharini, I see Rama’s grief as borderline pathetic! (Soon I will write a blog about my experience with taking brahmacharya.)

Then, during the war, when Rama thinks Lakshmana is dead, he cries out, “Lakshmana, how will I live when you are gone? I may find another Sita if I comb the earth, but I will never find another Lakshmana.” What? After all that grief over Sita, now he says he can replace her if he combs the earth? Now he loves Lakshmana more than Sita?

Then, after the war, he speaks coldly to Sita, saying: “I came because of dharma…. Do not think for a moment, Sita, that I came for your sake.” What? Ouch. That must have cut Sita’s heart like a knife. So then, bold as she was, she steps into the flames of a huge fire to prove her purity. The Lord Brahma appears and tells Rama that Rama is the Lord Vishnu Incarnate and Sita is the Goddess Lakshmi Incarnate… AND, Agni Deva, the God of Fire Himself, gives Sita to Rama unsinged and tells Rama that Sita is purer than he (Agni) is!

So then, Rama says to Sita, “Forgive me, my love, that I was so cruel to you. Not for a moment did I doubt your chastity.” Oy! Yes he did doubt her.

Then, once back in their kingdom in Ayodhya, when the people doubt Sita’s purity, instead of Rama saying, “Look, I am an Avatar of Vishnu and Sita is Lakshmi, and Agni did not burn her since she is so pure,” he said that it was the dharma of a king to keep his honor for the people. He says, “… I brought her home to Ayodhya, knowing she was perfectly untainted, in body and mind. But the people are not convinced. They judge her by their own lives, their own beliefs.” So then he tells Lakshmana, “… a king’s first dharma is to his subjects. Take Sita to the Rishi Valmiki’s asrama and leave her there.” He knew that she was pregnant (with their twin sons), but he didn’t stand up for her at all?

Although Rama did suffer tremendously over his grief at sending Sita away, he held firm to following his dharma, saying, “A king’s only dharma is the welfare of his people. They must rule whatever I do; my life belongs to them.”

Then, years later, at a big forest sacrifice gathering, his sons, Lava and Kusa, sing The Ramayana, and, hearing his own story, Rama realizes that these are his sons. So then he asks for Sita to come and swear an oath of purity for the sake of their sons’ future! The Great Rishi (Sage) Valmiki says, “Rama, you abandoned this Sita, who is purity itself, near my asrama. You were afraid of what the world thought of her and said of her. Why, it seems to me you doubt her yourself, that you ask her to come here and swear an oath.” So Rama tells Valmiki that he never doubted Sita’s purity, but he still asks her to come swear the oath.

So! Bhumi Devi, the Earth Goddess Herself, takes Sita back, proving Sita’s purity once and for all. Rama sobs and roars in fury at the Earth. He’s so enraged that Brahma has to appear to console him, saying, “Calm yourself, Rama. Sita is in Nagaloka, with her mother. You will find her again, after this life.”

After Sita left the world, Rama kept his kanchana (golden) Sita with him and he never even looked at another woman. Now this level of devotion and integrity I can totally respect, given my propensity (in the PAST) to attract men of the polyamorous persuasion.

Rama ruled for ten or eleven thousand years (depending on your source), and it was a time of utter grace on earth, but after Sita left the world, “he himself was always lonely, and pined for her.” Again, I’m inclined to use the word “pathetic,” but then I guess that is how jivas (individual souls) are, when we forget our Union with Shiva (God). But why did Rama forget, even after Lord Brahma told him clearly that he, Rama, was an Avatar of Lord Vishnu? Some say he forgot because, like us, he was in a human body living in the world, and like us, he regularly forgot his Divinity, and like us, he suffered because of that forgetfulness.

Then, when Rama has to banish Lakshmana to fulfill an agreement with Yama (Death), he again shows more love for Lakshmana than for Sita. Menon writes, “He was more stricken, even, than when he had sent Sita away from Ayodhya.”

After all the grief and loss, the story has a very cool ending. When it is time for Rama to leave this world, he becomes Vishnu again: “Rama melted into that light; he was that light.” And all the people who were devoted to him (Ramabhaktas), followed him out of this world: “In waves, like a river flowing into the sea, that throng of Ramabhaktas walked into the Sarayu. As soon as the holy water touched them, their mortal bodies dissolved and they rose up in resplendent forms of light…. When the last of his bhaktas has ascended, Rama himself rose out of this world…. And there, Sita, who is the Devi Lakshmi, waited for him.”

So the story has a good ending, but it left me feeling very conflicted about Rama’s actions. Was he indeed the perfect man? Some say yes, because, for a king in that age, his dharma to his people was impeccable. I’m not yet convinced, but I long to restore the feeling of Love and Devotion for Rama in my heart.

I highly recommend Ramesh Menon’s Ramayana. It is so beautifully and poetically written. Even with all this inner turmoil going on inside me about Rama, I intend to begin reading Menon’s Ramayana again very soon.

Lately I have been doing some forgiveness work, with the intention of forgiving a few people in my life, and with the intention of forgiving myself. So I say, out loud, “Teja, I accept your choices. I forgive you. I love you.” (I also say that to the other beings I am intending to forgive.) Somehow I need to come to the place where I feel resolved with Rama in my heart, so that I can sing his name loudly again. Perhaps soon I will be able to say, “Rama, I accept your choices. I forgive you. I love you.”

I offer this blog article to Sri Sri Sri Neem Karoli Baba-ji, Beloved Guru of Endless Grace. Oh Maharaj-ji, please help me to reunite with Rama in my heart. Please let me again feel the Fire of God and the Ocean of Grace merging in Sita-Ram. Please may this reading and contemplation of The Ramayana cleanse my soul of all impurities.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photos of Fire and Ocean by Teja Shankara.

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Life is filled with so many splendid synchronicities. Recently I began focusing on cleansing myself with Frog Medicine. I created a collage with a frog photo for my new journal, and inside I wrote the following notes from Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power through the Ways of Animals (by Jamie Sams & David Carson, Bear & Company, Santa Fe, NM, 1988):

“Frog teaches us to honor our tears, for they cleanse the soul…. know when it is time to refresh and purify….replace mud with clear energy….replenish your parched spirit, body, and mind….An ability of frog medicine people is to give support and energy where it is needed…. A frog medicine person can clean negativity from any environment…. Frog speaks of new life and harmony through its rain song…. Call to Frog and find peace in the joy of taking time to give to yourself. A part of this giving is cleansing yourself of any person, place, or thing that does not contribute to your new state of serenity and replenishment.”

The night after I copied down those notes, my friend Thomas and I went to eat some vegan treats at a nearby park. When I returned home, as I climbed the front steps to my cottage, I noticed a little tiny frog hanging onto the screen door! I knelt down and talked to him and then took a photo of him. The photo is a bit blurry, but you can still tell that it is a frog. I was in such awe of that beautiful synchronicity. It let me know that I am definitely on the right path… cleansing, cleansing, cleansing!

Through daily spiritual practices, especially chanting (singing) devotional songs to God, I am in a deep process of purifying my being. Through focused intention and Reiki healing energies, I am cleaning out some old mud energies and inviting new clear energies to fill my soul.

May all beings everywhere know the Purity of Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of frog in screen door by Teja Shankara.

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On June 26^th, I posted a blog article (“Release!”) about my process of releasing all expectations and griefs that I have placed on any forms of the masculine. Very soon after writing that article, I became aware that I needed to not only release expectations and griefs that I had placed on external forms of the masculine, but I also needed to release all the expectations that I had put on my internal masculine. I reflected on how much I expected of my own masculine, and I saw that while my masculine side completely bowed to my feminine side, it was not a reciprocal bowing! My feminine side was completely frustrated with my masculine side and refused to bow to it.

In one of her teachings, Amma says the following about the unity of the masculine and feminine:

“By the merging of man and woman, Mother doesn’t mean on the physical level….Women and men contain both elements…. The woman is unaware of the masculinity within her and searches for it on the outside, in a man. Likewise, the man doesn’t try to nourish the qualities of forgiveness, compassion, and affection that lie hidden within him. He imagines they are to be found only in a woman. Both men and women should awaken the complementary powers and capacities within themselves. Completeness is the union of the masculine and feminine elements within ourselves…. Only through this inner union can we experience limitless bliss. The aim of brahmacharya is to realize that both the male and female aspects are contained within us, and that the nature of our true Self transcends any such duality.”

(Lead Us to the Light: A Collection of the Teachings of Mata Amritanandamayi, Compiled by Swami Jnanamritananda, M.A. Center, San Ramon, CA, 2002.)

After realizing that I was seeking union with the masculine outside of myself largely because I was unhappy with the masculine element within myself, I set the intention to seek harmony and balance with my inner masculine and feminine elements. Taking the brahmacharya celibacy vow for at least six months, I endeavor to focus within and find the true Bliss that comes from uniting Shiva and Shakti internally. Lalla, naked mystic of medieval Kashmir, sang of that internal Union:

I, Lalla, entered the jasmine garden,
where Shiva and Shakti were making love.

I dissolved into them,
and what is this
to me, now?

I seem to be here,
but really I’m walking
in the jasmine garden.

(Lalla: Naked Song, translations by Coleman Barks, Maypop Publishing.)

May all beings know the Bliss of Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

The Lovers image by Mara~ earth light, CC license

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Saturday night I attended a potent fire circle. As the drummers began drumming, I danced slowly around the fire, silently inviting Agni Deva, the Hindu God of Fire, to be present and conscious in the fire. I reflected on my personal intention for that night by the sacred fire: to ask for purification so that I can experience the Oneness with Lord Shiva, who is Pure Consciousness and Bliss. With hand gestures, I also asked that the fire energies of purification go out to all the beings in all the worlds for healing in the Whole.

While dancing barefoot on soft clover around a sacred fire under the stars and moon, surrounded by trees, I delighted in the bells that adorned my ankles that evening. Then, during a break in the drumming, Lalla suddenly came through me. I called out, “Through the illusion of time and space, I invite Lalla here… we are in medieval Kashmir by the One Fire…” And then Lalla used my voice to call out eight of her Love poems. I will share two of them here:

Lalla, you’ve wandered so many places
trying to find your husband!

Now at last, inside the walls
of this body-house, in the heart-shrine,
you discover where he lives.

                    ********

Don’t be so quick to condemn my nakedness.

A man is one who trembles in the presence.
There are very few of those.
Why not go naked?

The ram of experience must be fed
and ripened for the sacrifice.

Then all these customs will disappear
like clothing. There’s only the soul.

Lalla lived in 14^th century Kashmir. At age 24 she left her husband and family, and wandered around North India, naked, singing love songs to God. (Lalla: Naked Song, translations by Coleman Barks, Maypop Publishing.)

When I returned to my cottage that night, the sound of the bells jingling on my ankles filled me with such bliss that I did not want to take them off. I felt like a child who just wants to swim for a few more minutes after the parent says it’s time to get out of the lake. I just wanted to hear those jingles a few more times…

… I did finally take the bells off my ankles, but the next morning I put them back on! As I reflected on that evening by the fire, I remembered what my spiritual brother Howie said to me when he first saw me that night: “You are really freeing your voice!” Amazed that he saw that at first glance, I said, “Yes, I’ve really been enjoying leading the chants at the Monday evening Radiance Rising Circles.”

Through the illusion of time and space, I’m sure Lalla also knows that I’m freeing my voice, which is why she came through me so strongly that night. I am bowing to the Universe in intense Gratitude for that experience of channeling Beloved Lalla.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of bells on Teja’s ankles by Teja Shankara.

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Photo by Ashley Marie - CC license

We create our realities with our thoughts. Cultivating the witness, that part of our minds that objectively watches everything we are, allows us to clearly see all of our thoughts. Through the power of watching our thoughts, we gradually change the way we perceive the world. We shift from viewing the world as a serious court of justice to seeing this universe as a joyous playground. Like gleeful children, we get to play and celebrate during this lifetime we've been given. On the playground we enjoy ourselves fully, even if sometimes we scrape our knees or get our hearts broken! No matter what pains we go through, we can't let the heartbreaks keep us from opening up and having a good time on the playground.

Here is a bit of news from the fun I'm having lately on the Tejaswini Playground ~

~ The first 11 days of July were filled with summer fun, as my entire family gathered for a visit in Ashland. We shared many joyful moments eating meals, sipping tea in the yard, and
traveling to the Oregon coast for my older son’s 13^th birthday. I am now the mama of a teenager… and his younger brother, who is 10 going on 18. They are so much fun now ~ I am really enjoying these ages. We all love hip hop music, so we had a great time seeing my brother perform live hip hop in Ashland. (My bro’s website: www.mctill.com) With all the excitement of the visit, it was challenging for me to maintain my daily spiritual practices, but I did manage to do shorter versions of them each day. (To begin spiritual practices yourself or to refresh the practices you already do, check out my pocket book, Radiance Rising: Spiritual Practices for Daily Living.)

~ One of the highlights of this family visit was spending time with my sister-in-law, who I dedicated Radiance Rising to… She is currently enrolled in a Yoga teacher training, and we enjoyed talking about spiritual practices, yoga, Reiki, and so on. I am totally in love with her because she is so open, so inquisitive, and so enthusiastic. She is a bright light and I really enjoyed soaking in her radiance.

~ The weekly Radiance Rising circles continue to be sweet as ever. I was looking forward to offering them at Mystic Garden Party, but then I learned that entheogenics is going to be a focus at that festival, so I cancelled my workshops there. (For the story on that, go to: http://yogini-bliss.com/106-teja-news-in-brief-july-2010.html)

~ I’m still reading The Ramayana: A Modern Retelling of the Great Indian Epic, by Ramesh Menon. I’m on page 557 of 686 pages, so I’m getting there! There are so many potent lessons in it. For example, when Lord Brahma offered Vibheeshana a boon, that gentle rakshasa asked for the following: “Grant me that my mind remains steadfast and virtuous in the midst of life’s greatest trials…. May every thought that enters my mind, during every stage of my life, be of dharma. Let me fulfill my dharma, however hard it is. For if a man has dharma, he has everything.”

~ Saturday night, during the two-day Conscious Convergence (go to www.commonpassion.org for more info. on that), I attended a planetary fire puja, a ritual led by Debi Sheetz, in which we chanted many vedic mantras to the planets, to help increase the positive aspects of what is happening right now astrologically. After the puja, we shared in a delightful potluck, with sweet salads of strawberries, blueberries, mangos, and avocados. I brought a really yummy coconut rice pudding. Watch for that vegan recipe on this Teja Blog soon. 

~ This past week I’ve been making an effort to go out in the yard and sit under the stars at night. My teacher, who left his body last July 21^st, often said that we should all do more stargazing, as it helps us to have a bigger perspective on time and space, and it helps us to understand our place in the scheme of things. Although my grief has shifted recently, and I’m not crying anymore, I do still miss my teacher a lot, and I honor him greatly this week, as Wednesday marks the year since his passing. Thank you Yogi Shambho, for all that you gifted me with.

~ I close this newsletter with a wonderful poem by Lalla, a naked mystic from medieval Kashmir:

The soul, like the moon,
is new, and always new again.

And I have seen the ocean
continuously creating.

Since I scoured my mind
and my body, I too, Lalla,
am new, each moment new.

My teacher told me one thing,
Live in the soul.

When that was so,
I began to go naked,
and dance.

(From Lalla: Naked Song, translations by Coleman Barks, Maypop Publishing.)

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

http://www.facebook.com/tejashankara

Photo of sunflower in brother’s garden by Teja Shankara.

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This June when I traveled south to see Ammachi at her ashram in Castro Valley, California, I couldn’t help but think about all the gasoline I was using to drive hundreds of miles. I thought about the tragedy of the Gulf oil spill, and I wondered what it is going to take for us humans to stop destroying our beautiful mother earth.

During one of the evening programs, someone asked Amma the following question: “Amma, the Gulf oil spilling is distressing. Could you tell BP how to fix it?”

Amma’s insightful answer: “Pray that the people will be able to fix it properly. May Divine Grace bless them and help us all. The ego of human beings is becoming uncontrollable – when the ego gets bigger and bigger, and beyond control, then God will create such situations. It is God saying, “remember Me, I’m here – I’m in control of the Universe, not you.” So, such things will happen, it’s not unusual. The population is increasing, but the earth isn’t growing. In that process, things will go wrong sometimes. You can’t blame one person or one country. All the people are driving more cars, so they need more petrol, so then things happen like this. Become more expansive. Take a bigger perspective. We aren’t isolated islands – we are all part of the universal chain. We want others to change (like BP), but we have to change ourselves first, and if we change, then others will change automatically. We need to understand that there is a Power Beyond. There are so many factors coming together, so we need God’s Grace. So let us pray for Divine Grace. Incidents like the BP oil spill are like God bashing our ego. Good actions bring good results. Replace bad thoughts with good thoughts. Like adding pure water to salty water, the salty water will eventually become drinkable. Likewise, we can gradually think more and more positive thoughts, and then we will have less and less bad thoughts. Have sincerity, love, and dedication. Pray and be cheerful like little children.”

As always, listening to Amma talk from such an Expanded State, I remembered that for me personally, the most important thing I can do to help the earth is to continue doing my daily spiritual practices in earnest. When I pray and raise my vibration, that higher state of consciousness ripples out and affects the Whole. The simple act of sitting still in meditation for twenty minutes creates a healing energy that can be sent out with conscious intention. I intend that the healing energies created by my spiritual practices go out and help reduce the suffering on earth.

To read about the spiritual practices I do daily, check out my pocket book – a very easy summer read – Radiance Rising: Spiritual Practices for Daily Living, available on this website store, where 10% of every sale and donation goes to Amma’s charitable organizations.

Amma often says, “Whether we laugh or cry, days will go by, so we should laugh. Laugh and remain joyful. Laughter is the music of the soul.”

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Amma’s land by Teja Shankara.

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Each week I pick an angel card, and it is amazing how often the quality fits exactly with what I’m going through that week. Take this week, for example. I am working to release a very big pattern from my life, consciously focusing on breathing and releasing… and I picked “Release”!  (Angel cards, by Kathy Tyler and Joy Drake, Narada Productions, Inc., Milwaukee, WI, 1981.)

After twenty years of trying unsuccessfully to get what I want from the Universe (in the way of a perfect Sita-Ram union with an earthly man), I’ve decided to lay down the “dream” and be free of the disappointments I inevitably experience at every turn. I am intending to finally release the last bits of the addictive love pattern that I wrote about in my memoir, The Rita Lila: A Western Yogini’s Journey to Bliss, by my pen name, Rita Ann Shankara. Rather than continuing this madness of seeking the union with someone outside of myself, I have decided to renounce the search altogether and relax into the inner Union with my beloved husband, Lord Shiva.

My dear friend Thomas does not believe me, and he is encouraging me to take a neutral stance on this matter. While I appreciate his feedback, I have recently become aware that if I continue to allow myself to indulge in these lilas with the masculine, I will most likely not be celebrating too many more birthdays! The strain of the intensity of grief from this past year alone has taken its toll, and my body is telling me clearly – through shouting methods – that it’s time to stop this pattern.

I do understand the value in finding a nonattached, neutral attitude on the matter, so I will intend to reach that state soon. For now though, I release all expectations and griefs that I’ve put onto any forms of the masculine, and I endeavor to walk alone… with deep breathing… and lots of laughing.

I am feeling incredible freedom already. From this healing process of release, I am experiencing a warm, radiant self-love that is tingling throughout my cells. 

Release, release, release!

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of yellow rose and release card by Teja Shankara.

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The Tejaswini Playground Press

Photo by Ashley Marie - CC license

We create our realities with our thoughts. Cultivating the witness, that part of our minds that objectively watches everything we are, allows us to clearly see all of our thoughts. Through the power of watching our thoughts, we gradually change the way we perceive the world. We shift from viewing the world as a serious court of justice to seeing this universe as a joyous playground. Like gleeful children, we get to play and celebrate during this lifetime we've been given. On the playground we enjoy ourselves fully, even if sometimes we scrape our knees or get our hearts broken! No matter what pains we go through, we can't let the heartbreaks keep us from opening up and having a good time on the playground.

Here is a bit of news from the fun I'm having lately on the Tejaswini Playground ~

~ Well, I’ve been having so much fun that I’m way behind on sending out this June newsletter! So much has happened since I last wrote on May 14^th. In this newsletter I will share the highlights and then I’ll write more in depth about it all in a series of blog posts. Speaking of the Teja Blog, I am now posting these monthly newsletters on the blog as a way to share them with more people and also as a way to archive them on-line.

~ The first week of June I attended a training in San Rafael through the Insight Prison Project. We learned a curriculum to use when facilitating groups of offenders and victims, and we spent a whole day inside San Quentin Prison. Watch for a blog about this experience. It was totally inspiring!

~ When the prison training ended I headed to see Ammachi for a few days. Amma tours the U.S. twice each year, and her main center is in Castro Valley, just outside of San Ramon, California. (www.amma.org) This was one of my most potent and memorable experiences with Amma. I will be writing more about it on the Teja Blog soon. The highlight was Amma giving me an apple!

~ While at Amma’s ashram, I meditated on a health issue, and received guidance to see Dr. Paul Romanoff, a chiropractor who offers sessions at the ashram when Amma is there. The healing sessions with him were amazing, and he recommended that I continue the healing process in Ashland with Dr. Mike Young, a local chiropractor. For the past two weeks my focus has been on healing at the physical level: spending lots of time in the sunshine, breathing, and releasing a charge of energy that I’ve held inside for a while now. I feel super grateful for this healing journey of release.

~ While gone on my trip south, I really missed the weekly Radiance Rising Circles, and I was so happy to return to them! One of the attendees said that he felt like mommy was back! I said it must’ve been Amma coming through me. :)

~ I’m still reading The Ramayana: A Modern Retelling of the Great Indian Epic, by Ramesh Menon. I’m on page 458 of 686 pages, and I’ve been immersed in the gory stories of the war for a while now… 65 more pages of the war to go, and I am really ready to be through with that part! I am noticing my discomfort with conflict and with violence in general, and reading through it anyway. They say that reading or hearing the Ramayana purifies and cleanses the soul, and I am definitely experiencing that. What a blessing.

~ Here is one of my favorite quotes that I heard Amma say this time:

Be like flowers – flowers have so many good qualities, and they have no pride and no ego.

~ July 21-26, I will be offering workshops at the Mystic Garden Party in Corning, California. See my listing under the Devotional Dome at this link: http://mysticgardenparty.com/workshops/all-bios/

~ Lastly, if you haven’t yet seen the hilarious videos of my friend Pete and I giving each other  buzz cuts, be sure to treat yourself to that entertainment soon! www.buzz-for-bliss.com

May you enjoy the spicy summer playground of your life.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

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The Tejaswini Playground Press
Monthly Newsletter by Yogini Tejaswini Shankara

Photo by Ashley Marie - CC license

It has been brought to my attention that I should post the monthly newsletters here on this Teja Blog, so that people can read them on-line. So I've just posted the four newsletters below. If you sign up for my newsletter (on the menu to the left here), you will receive an e-mail alert when the latest newsletter has been posted to this blog.

May you enjoy reading about the fun I'm having on the Tejaswini Playground!

May you also have a lot of fun on the playground of your life.

May all beings everywhere know the Bliss of Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

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My friend Pete is visiting for a few weeks, and last week I was feeling sad at the thought of our visit ending, so I asked him if he would give me a buzzcut, to help me release my attachments. At first he didn’t think it was a good idea, as he thought I should just be able to let go of my attachments by strengthening my mind. With a stronger mind, I would not let myself think the thoughts that cause me grief. While that sounds great in theory, I still felt like I needed some outside help. A buzzcut would be a great visual reminder that I am capable of letting go of the things that I am attached to… And I was definitely attached to my hair…

So I placed the hair cutting scissors on the bathroom counter, to let Pete know I was serious about my idea… but the next time I went to the bathroom, the scissors were gone! For a few days we played hide-and-seek with the scissors, with me finding them and setting them back on the counter, and him hiding them again.

While I was mostly laughing at our rascally antics, I also felt a bit frustrated by the situation… So, I took out my journal and wrote the following:

O Tejaswini, what can you say about your long hair? ~

~ It feels heavy, like it’s weighing down my head.

~ It makes me attractive to men.

~ It symbolizes femininity.

~ It is so cute and curly.

~ It takes too much time to manage now.

~ I’m attached to it because it is so cute.

~ It makes me feel protected. I can hide in it.

O Tejaswini, what does cutting your hair represent? ~

~ Burning karma: Letting go of the old and creating fresh new space for what wants to emerge next.

~ Re-committing to the goal: Shiva Union is Primary, and connections with earthly men come after Union with Lord Shiva, who is Pure Consciousness and Bliss

~ Releasing attachments: attachments to looks, to men, to projections of how I want things to unfold, to fantasies and to disappointments.

~ Shifting focus from spending time on external looks TO spending more time on internal practices and on serving others.

I then wrote a small poem:

letting the curly locks
fall away,
i rest within Shiva,
the very Bliss
at my core.

Tejaswini says this buzzcut
brings the bliss
of Remembrance.

After I read the above journal entry to Pete, he agreed to cut my hair. I thought that the next day we would buy a clipper set for the buzzcut, but that night we couldn’t sleep, and at 3:30am he cut my hair with those hide-and-seek scissors! We took a video of the process, and the video turned out to be quite hilarious, so I posted it on my YouTube channel under the comedy category! (http://www.youtube.com/user/16Tejaswini) Here is the video. Please share it far and wide!

While editing the Buzz for Bliss video, we got the idea to challenge others to also buzz their hair to release attachments and experience the bliss of inner peace. Also, Pete (a.k.a. Yogi Sinzapatos) will donate $1 for every haircut done in the name of Peace to Common Passion, a non-profit organization that is working to raise awareness of Unity Consciousness. http://www.commonpassion.org. If you decide to cut YOUR hair for the Bliss of Peace, after you cut your hair, you can post a photo of your buzzcut, along with a story about the haircut, at http://www.buzz-for-bliss.com.

We all have the ability to let go of our attachments. Sometimes giving something up – like our hair, for example – can help us to give other things up. The more we let go of our external attachments, the more we experience the bliss of internal peace… And the more we each experience inner peace, the more we radiate that out and help to create Peace in the whole world.

May we each release whatever attachments are blocking our peace and joy. Cheers to buzzcuts for bliss, and any other releases that radiate more Light!

May all beings everywhere know the Bliss of Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

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